


Naughty Or Nice

by Chuckyegg



Category: Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:12:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuckyegg/pseuds/Chuckyegg
Summary: What if Negan had a twin? Said every fangirl ever.





	1. Chapter 1

"Christ! Give it here," she frowns, taking the can from him.

"Hey, i almost had it," he smiles.

"Yeah, but i wanna eat sometime this year," she giggles lightly as she opens it. "There. Guess i'm stronger than you after all."

"What? Because you can open a fucking can faster than me?"

"Yep," she smiles, scooping out a mouthful of beans.

He runs a hand round her waist, pulling her closer to him. "We'll find somewhere soon. I promise, baby."

She passes him the can of beans.

"No, you should eat some more. You're skinny enough as it is," he frowns.

"I've had half," she holds it out to him once again. "Seriously, i can't eat any more. I think my stomach's shrunk."

He sighs then takes the can from her. He grimaces at the taste. "This would be so much better if we had a damn fire. Cold beans don't quite hit the fucking spot."

She strokes between his shoulder blades. "It's better than nothing."

He turns to her and kisses the tip of her nose tenderly. "It sure fucking is."

She rests her head against his shoulder. "I'm so tired, i could sleep for a week."

"We've got all day, we'll find somewhere to spend the night before it gets dark," he says through a mouthful of food.

"Do you think any of the others made it?" She asks.

He sits there contemplating for a moment. "Probably fucking not. It was a shitty camp, Katie. It was never gonna last."

"You think we'll last?" She smiles, running a hand through the back of his hair.

He tosses the empty can away and wraps his arm round her waist. "Fuck yeah we will."

"You think we'll grow old together though?"

"Probably fucking not, you're a lot younger than i am," he teases.

"Why can't you ever just answer a question, John?"

He sighs, rubbing at her shoulder. "Because who the fuck knows what's gonna happen? Fucked if i know. It's much better to take shit a day at a time. That way there's no disappointment."

A branch snaps in the distance. John turns his head.

"I got it, baby," he assures her, getting up of the ground. He takes a knife from his pocket, stepping towards the trees. "It's just one," he says, before he takes his knife and plunges it into the dead thing's skull. "I fucking hate these things, dead fucks."

He sits back down beside her. Katie holds out a bottle of water.

"Thanks, baby," he smiles, taking the bottle. He gulps down about a quarter of it before handing it back over. "We need to find some more."

"It's no good if we can't start a fire," she points out.

"I can start a damn fire," he frowns.

"Oh really? How come we were just eating cold beans then?" She teases.

"Because i didn't see the point in starting a fire just to warm up some damn beans," he says.

"Yeah yeah," she says sarcastically.

"We'll rest here a little while then move on. Try and find somewhere for the night," he smiles, gently kissing the side of her neck.

"We're finding somewhere to sleep, i need to sleep," she smiles, tilting her head.

"Hmm, lots and lots of sleep," he breathes against her neck. "You can't sleep if you don't relax though, and i know how to make you all relaxed."

Katie strokes his neck, her fingers brushing past his ear and clawing at his hair. "Maybe i _could_ use a little help with that."

He nips and sucks at her neck. "Hmm, i thought you might."

Katie places her hands against his chest, gently pushing him away. "Not here."

"Why the fuck not?" He smirks, pulling at her waist.

"Because it's not safe out here, or have you already forgotten the dead guy that showed up five minutes ago?"

"I'd hear them coming," he smiles.

"Yeah, they'd hear _you_ coming too, and i am not dying with my pants down," she frowns.

"Alright, we'll save it for later," he rolls his eyes, adjusting his erection.

She pats his head playfully. "There's a good boy."

"We'll see who's a good fucking boy later," he grins.

Katie kisses him briefly then stands up. "I gotta pee, be back in five."

John slaps her ass as she walks past. "Well be careful. Don't wanna be wiping your ass with poison ivy or some shit."

"Don't worry," she smiles. "I'll just stamp my feet."

 

Katie buttons her jeans back up. What she'd do to have an actual toilet, or a shower, now that would be heaven. She lifts her arm up, having a good sniff. Katie grimaces. _Christ! It's a wonder he can stand to be near me._ She steps out from behind the bush, wondering why she still bothers with hiding anymore, it's not like anyone can see her. Katie hears a rustling ahead of her. "John," she whispers, pulling out her knife. "John?"

She hears his voice coming towards her and sighs in relief. Walking towards the sound of his voice she frowns. _Wow, he's finally gone insane,_ she thinks, as it appears he's talking to himself. She sees his shadow in the distance and frowns once again. He isn't alone. Katie stands a good distance from him, freezing on the spot. "John," she says, confused.

The newcomer and his companion stop in their tracks, turning in her direction. "Well hello there, beautiful. What in the holy fuck is a cute little thing like you doing out here?" He smiles.

Katie stares at him confused.

He frowns. "You alright? You look like you've seen a fucking ghost.

"Katie," comes a voice from behind her.

She turns, her eyes connecting with John. Then she turns back to the newcomer. The newcomer who looks and sounds almost exactly like John. Her eyes flit between the two of them. Dizziness washes over her as she stumbles to the ground.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

John held Katie in his arms. "This is all your fault, Negan."

"Excuse fucking me," Negan places a hand against his chest, resting his barbwire bat against his shoulder. "How the fuck is this my fault?"

"Coming out of nowhere, scaring her like that!" John frowns.

"Yeah. Because i knew i was gonna bump into my brother's girl in the woods," he says sarcastically. "Nice work by the way, she's hot!"

"Shut up," John scowls.

Katie comes to in his arms. "John," she almost whispers.

"Hey, baby. I'm here. You okay?"

"Yeah," she nods, sitting up. She glances over at Negan. "You never told me you had a brother, a twin brother at that."

"Wow, i gotta say, i'm hurt, John. You never told her about me?" Negan says dramatically.

"It's not like we've swapped fucking life stories," he sneers at Negan.

"But you know everything about me," Katie says.

"You here that?" Negan says in mock surprise. "She says you know everything about her. You stand fucking corrected, brother."

"I'm okay now," Katie gets back on her feet. "It was just.. a bit of a surprise."

"I'll bet it was, sweetheart," Negan smiles.

John wraps an arm protectively round her waist.

Negan strokes his beard. "I normally shave this shit. Today's as good a fucking day as any. Don't want you getting confused between the two of us."

"It'd be hard with that stupid hair," John smiles.

"Fuck you just say?" Negan frowns. "It's slick as fuck!" He smooths a hand over his hair.

"Who's your friend?" Katie nods towards the man standing silently beside him.

"How fucking rude am i? This is Simon. Simon, this is John and.. what did you say your name was, sweetheart?"

"Katie," she smiles.

"Katie," Negan grins.

Simon waves a hand. "Hey."

"So do you guys have a place? Or are you just roaming like us?" Katie asks.

"We have a place. Got a lot of people too, you should-," Negan starts.

"We're good," John interrupts.

Katie turns to him. "Are you serious?"

John takes her arm and walks a good distance from Negan and Simon. "Fuck yeah i'm serious. We can find our own place."

"You got a problem with him or something?" She frowns.

"Yeah, he's a fucking asshole!"

"Are you talking about me over there?" Negan smiles. "Because that's just fucking rude."

"Shut up," John says before turning back to her.

"What do you have against him?" Katie asks.

John looks at his feet. "It doesn't matter."

"Course it matters! If it's big enough to turn your nose up at a safe place, then it matters," she reasons.

John sighs. "I just.. i don't trust him."

"You think he'll hurt us or something?"

"No."

"Then what's the big deal?"

"Come on, John," Negan says making his way towards them. "Don't you think it's time we let bygones be bygones? Water under the metaphorical bridge and all that."

John stares at him. "Where is this place?"

"Not far, we can get there on foot," Negan says.

"And it's secure?" John asks.

"Fuck yeah it is. I got men armed to the damn teeth on those walls," he smiles.

"You their leader?" Katie asks.

"Yeah, i'm in charge. We have rules though. You gotta have rules, keep people in line."

"We're alright with that," Katie assures him.

"What fucking rules?" John asks.

"Everyone earns their place, one way or another," he says without a trace of his previous humour. "You take something that you haven't earned, you pay the price."

"What the fuck does that mean?" John frowns.

"Don't matter. Long as you don't break the rules," Negan smiles. "And i know you. You were always a damn stickler for the rules, you'll fit right in."

"People change," John says.

"They most certainly motherfucking do," Negan grins. "You fucking coming with us or what? Because i'm not standing out here all day."

John looks over at Katie. He wants more than anything to keep her safe, even if it means putting up with his brother. John nods. "Alright."

 

They'd been walking for about half an hour. John had barely spoken at all, giving the occasional glance towards his brother. Katie on the other hand couldn't take her eyes off him, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by John.

"I thought you said it wasn't far," John frowns.

"It isn't, we'll be there in about five," Negan assures him. "Anyway, what's the fucking rush? You got somewhere else you gotta be?"

"What were you even doing out this far?" John questions.

"Scouting. You know, fucking looking for people. The more people you have, the stronger you are," Negan answers.

"So you were out, just the two of you, with no vehicle?" John frowns.

"Christ, John," Negan rolls his eyes. "When did you get so fucking paranoid?"

"Since the world turned to shit and every fucker wants what you have," he says.

"See that," Negan points his bat up the road. "That's home."

Katie and John look at the building ahead of them.

"Is that a school?" Katie asks.

"It is, sweetheart. Perfect place to hold up. Gates were already up, fucking perfect for keeping the dead fucks out. Been there for two months. Had to clear it out of course, but it wasn't too hard," Negan smiles proudly.

The four of them stand in front of the primary school. Two men armed with rifles open the gates.

"You weren't fucking kidding," John says, eyeing their weapons.

Negan smiles. "No, i fucking wasn't."

Negan's men stare at the pair of them in confusion. Side by side, they're pretty much identical. The only difference being their clothes and hair. Were John's hair is scraggly, Negan's is slicked back. In fact, Negan is much more put together than John, with his leather jacket, dark jeans and red scarf. Were John wears jeans that may have once been a light blue, and a dirty plaid shirt.

"Simon, go get everyone together in the main hall. I'll be there in five," Negan orders.

Simon nods and heads through the double doors.

 

Negan walks into the hall, John and Katie right behind him. The hall is filled with about fifty people, all of whom become silent at the sight of him.

John frowns, as every single one of them begins to kneel. _What the fuck?_

"I can tell by the look on your faces that you all think you're seeing fucking double," Negan smiles. "Well you're not. This handsome fucker at my side is my brother, John. Granted, he's not as good looking as me, but we can't have it fucking all," he chuckles. "He's gonna be staying with us. Now, i don't normally make a big fucking deal every time we bring in new people. But these are unusual circumstances. I want you to keep in mind, that nothing changes here. I'm still the guy in charge. The only fucking thing me and this scraggly looking fucker share, is our handsome good looks. And maybe a womb, once upon a fucking time. He'll be working his ass off, just like the rest of you, earning his place," Negan rests his bat over his shoulder. "As you were."

And with that, they all rise to their feet once again. John feels uncomfortable as all eyes focus on him.

"Come on," Negan heads back through the doors. "I'll show you to your room."

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Can you believe this?" Katie smiles. "A room of our own, with an actual bed," she drops herself down on the bed, arms outstretched.

"Yeah, it's awesome," John says a little sceptically.

Katie leans up on her elbows. "What's wrong?"

"You don't think all that was a bit weird?" John frowns.

"What was weird?"

"You're shitting me right? Everyone kneeling as soon as my asshole brother waltzed in there," John says as he paces round the room.

"Well yeah, it was weird, but who cares?" Katie grabs his arm. "We have a safe place, food, and a bed," she smiles.

John looks down at her, his eyes darkening with lust. "Yes we fucking do." He pushes her down on the bed, his lips colliding with hers. John pulls at her vest strap, ghosting his lips over her collarbone.

"John," she moans breathlessly, writhing beneath him. Katie runs her hands through the back of his hair, her body breaking out in gooseflesh as he nips at her sensitive skin.

A knock at the door startles them.

"Fuck!" John almost growls in the crook of her neck.

"You should get that," Katie smiles.

John sighs deeply and nods his head, making his way to the door. "Negan," he frowns. "What is it?"

"Thought i'd come by, see how you're settling in," Negan smiles.

John leans against the door frame. "I was settling in just fucking fine till you showed up."

"Did i just..," Negan chuckles, placing a hand against his chest. "My bad."

"What the fuck do you want?" John asks impatiently.

"Don't be like that. Thought you might wanna come by mine, have a little nightcap," Negan says.

"What for?" John frowns.

"Fuck sake, John. We're brothers. And we just found each other. I think we need to bury the hatchet," Negan smiles.

_I'll bury it right in your damn head you little fucker!_ John thinks.

Negan raises an eyebrow. "Are you thinking bad thoughts about me?"

"Why the fuck would you think that?"

"Twin thing," Negan smiles.

John rolls his eyes.

"Come on. Don't be such an asshole," Negan frowns. "Have a drink with me. I got whiskey."

John raises an eyebrow. "Good whiskey?"

"Fuck yeah!" Negan smiles.

"I don't really wanna leave Katie on her own," John says.

Katie comes up behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Don't use me as an excuse. Go have a drink with your brother."

"You settling in alright, sweetheart?" Negan smiles.

"Yeah, we really appreciate this," she smiles.

John stares at her, not caring for the way she's looking at Negan. "Alright, i'll come for a damn drink."

  
"Jesus!" John's eyes widen as he scans Negan's room. It's huge and furnished really well.

"I know right," Negan chuckles. "Park your ass," Negan gestures towards the sofa.

"How the fuck did you get all this shit?" John asks as he sits down.

Negan grabs two glasses and a bottle. "Perks of being in charge. Shit like this isn't hard to find. People are more concerned with eating. When you're out there, the last thing on your mind is looting furniture stores," he smiles, handing a glass to his brother.

John takes the glass and swirls it in his hand. "So i'm gonna ask the obvious question."

"And what the fuck would that be?"

"All those people out there, why were they kneeling? They think you're fucking God or something?" John sips from his glass.

Negan chuckles as he sits beside him. "It's called respect. I keep them safe, i save people. I, am a fucking savior."

"You mean you and your men save people?"

"Well yeah, but i'm the guy in charge. The one they look up to," Negan smiles. "Come on, brother. Even you gotta admit this place is pretty fucking impressive."

John knocks back the rest of his whiskey. "I'm not saying it isn't. It's just.. weird as shit."

"You jealous?" Negan smirks.

"Why the fuck would i be jealous?" John frowns.

"All those people, kneeling to me. Definitely puts me one up on the sibling rivalry," Negan smiles.

John stares at him in disbelief. "We're not kids anymore, Negan."

Negan's face darkens slightly. "No, we're not. But then that never stopped you from wanting what was mine, did it?"

"You're really gonna go there?" John frowns.

Negan's face softens slightly. "No, like i said. It's about time we put all that behind us, don't you think?"

"That's easy for you to say," John sneers.

"Really? Because if i remember rightly. It was you, that took a great big steaming dump all over me." Negan frowns.

"Oh please. You've shit over me plenty enough," John says.

Negan shakes his head. "Not when it mattered i didn't."

They both turn their heads as someone knocks on the door.

"Yeah," Negan says.

An overweight guy enters Negan's room. He carries a barbwire bat in both hands. "Hey, Negan."

"Joey," Negan nods.

"I had Lucille cleaned," he smiles nervously as he hands her over.

Negan takes Lucille from him, eyeing her almost lovingly. John looks at him almost with disgust. Negan gestures with his fingers for Joey to leave.

"Lucille?" John grimaces. "You gotta be fucking joking?"

Negan turns to his brother. "You got something you wanna say? Because if you have, spit it the fuck out."

John clenches his jaw, his hands balling into fists. He lets out a deep breath and sighs. "Doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters since the world turned to shit. All that matters is not becoming just another dead fuck."

Negan smiles and places an arm around his brother's shoulder. "Well said," he pats him on the back and leans forward for the whiskey bottle. "Refill?"

  
John makes his way down the corridor back to his room. He sways a little, having drunk one too many. He wasn't too sure if he genuinely believed he could put his and Negan's past behind him. But he'd have to try, if not for his sake, then for Katie's. He wasn't sure if he loved her. Cared for her deeply? Yeah. But love? Probably not. He wasn't sure if he was capable of that anymore. John opens the door to his room. He glances over at her sleeping soundly and smiles. He undresses and gets into bed beside her, pulling her against him. She stirs slightly, but he strokes her hair until she settles again. He'll make it work between him and Negan, for her.


	4. Chapter 4

"I wish we could lie like this forever," Katie smiles as she curls her fingers through John's chest hair.

"Hmm, it is nice. Might get fucking boring after a while though," he teases. Katie slaps his chest playfully. "Anyway, i said i'd go out on a run with Negan."

"I don't like you going out there, what if you don't come back?" She pouts, stroking at his neck.

John chuckles lightly. "I'm not fucking going anywhere till i'm good and ready. It'll take more than some dead fuck to take me down."

"Well. I guess it'll do you some good. You and you're brother spending some time together."

"Yeah," he frowns. "Nothing like bonding over smashing heads in."

Katie leans up on her elbow, her hand resting against his chest. "What is it with you two? He genuinely seems pleased to see you, and you couldn't be any further from that."

John sighs. "It's nothing for you to worry about, baby. Just stupid family shit."

Katie rests her head in the crook of his shoulder. "Did you hear about his wives?"

John smiles. "Yes, i have. Greedy fucker. Who the fuck needs three wives?"

"Come on. You're not telling me that you couldn't find time for three wives? What with your appetite," she smiles.

"Well yeah, i'm gonna look into that the next time you have a headache," he jokes.

"Shut up," Katie giggles.

"You asked," he smiles. John strokes her shoulder. "Do you.. never mind."

"What?"

John shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."

"Go on," she smiles.

"Do you think he's.. you know, good looking?"

Katie tries to hide a smile and fails. "You did not just ask me that? You do realise you're twins right?"

"I'll take that as a fucking yes then," he frowns.

"Well yes, since you're both identical. It'd be insulting if i didn't think he was hot."

"Woah, wait! You think he's hot?"

Katie rolls her eyes. "We are not having this conversation," she gets out from under the covers and grabs her jeans.

"Don't be like that, i got ten more minutes," he smiles, reaching out a hand. "Come back to bed."

Katie crosses her arms, looking away from him with a scowl.

"Come on, i'm hungry," he licks his lips teasingly.

Katie giggles. She holds out her hand and he pulls her back under the covers.

 

"What the fuck took you so long?" Negan frowns.

John answers him with a sly smirk as he almost swaggers his way towards the truck.

Negan places Lucille between the both of them as he gets in the driver's seat. "Lucky bastard."

"You're shitting me right? You got three fucking wives," John says bemused.

"Yeah, but listen to this shit. Their damn cycles have lined up, can you believe that?" Negan says in disbelief.

John laughs, so hard his side's begin to ache.

"I'm glad you find it fucking funny," Negan says with little humour.

"It's fucking hilarious," John smiles. "Oh, Jesus," he exhales deeply, trying to calm himself down. "So where we off too?"

Negan starts the engine. "Fucking wing it, see what we can find. Keep having to go further out each time, supplies are getting scarce."

"You ever come across any other communities?" John asks.

Negan shakes his head. "Nope. I mean, we've come across groups before. But only small ones, no more then six at a time. And they joined us."

"It's a shame you haven't come across other communities. You could start some sort of bartering system," John points out.

"Look at you, thinking all ahead and shit," Negan smiles. "You planning on staying then?"

John shrugs. "Why wouldn't i?"

Negan tilts his head. "Wasn't sure you'd be able to get past shit. _You_ always did hold a grudge."

John turns to him, frowning. "That's bullshit! Since when did _i_ hold a grudge? And don't fucking look at me like that."

Negan turns his head back towards the road with a smile. "Maybe we were both as bad as one another, fuck knows. Like you said, doesn't matter anymore. Not since the world turned to shit."

 

They had been driving for hours, stopping whenever they saw a half decent looking building, only to be disappointed that it had already been looted.

John had taken over behind the wheel, scanning the road for signs of a mall, or even a gas station. "Hey, check that out," he points at a sign, slowing down to take a closer look.

" _Adrian, population, six hundred and fifty_ ," Negan reads. "That's a small fucker."

"You think we should check it out?" John asks.

"We're gonna need some more gas. You'd think there'd be a fucking station, but i haven't seen one for miles," Negan frowns.

"We'll find one," John says.

"If it hasn't been fucking stripped clean already," Negan says.

They drive on another few miles until they find another dilapidated gas station. John cuts off the engine and steps out of the truck, taking his knife from his belt. He hears the passenger door slam shut, as Negan makes his way towards him.

"Let's go see if those babies got any fucking juice in them," Negan gestures towards the pumps. "I'll go get the hose, you check out the station, see if there's anything worth taking?"

John nods, making his way towards the gas station. He bangs on the door, giving it a good minute or so before he slowly steps inside. The door closes with a creak, and the smell of age and decay hits his nostrils. John cups his nose and mouth with his hand as he scans the interior. A dozen rotten corpses lie on the ground, bullet holes strewn across the wall. Shit went down here, he thinks, as he notices that the corpses don't appear to have any visible bites.

"You find anything?" Negan says.

John almost jumps a mile. "Jesus, Negan. You scared the fucking shit out of me."

"Jumpy eh?"

"You seen this?" John frowns.

Negan makes his way over to him, staring at the rotting corpses in front of them. "Dead bodies, big fucking wow! You had your eyes closed since the world turned to shit or something?"

John huffs loudly. "Look, there's no bites."

"So? What's your point?"

"Someone obviously killed them for no reason," John points out.

Negan shakes his head. "You don't know that. These guys could've been assholes. Or maybe someone did kill them no reason, what the fuck does it matter to us?"

"It doesn't, i guess. I just don't like it. It's fucking senseless," John says.

"Damn fucking right it is, fuck all we can do about it though. Come on," he pats John on the back. "I managed to fill the tank, let's get the fuck outta here."

 

They arrive at Adrian, slowly driving the truck along the road in search for a store that appeared untouched.

"Hey! Check that out!" Negan points at a large convenience store. It's gated, roughly half a dozen of the dead rambling inside the gates. Army vehicles and makeshift tents litter the parking lot outside the building.

John pulls up the truck. "Could be a goldmine in there. Gate's still chained. Looks like someone turned and they got overrun."

"Exactly. Place looks like it's pretty much untouched," Negan smiles.

John turns to him. "How we doing this?

Negan bites on the inside of his cheek, deep in thought. "One of us should drive the truck to the other side. Lead those dead fucks over there, while the other cuts the chain."

"I'll cut it," John offers.

Negan raises an eyebrow. "You sure you can handle it?"

John chuckles lightly. "I've been surviving out here for the last couple months. This'll be a piece if piss," he smiles as he gets out of the truck. He grabs a pair of bolt cutters from the back before heading back to Negan.

Negan hands him a gun. "Take this, but only use that fucker unless your ass depends on it. We don't wanna attract more of those fuckers."

John nods and hides out of sight from the dead, as Negan drives to the other side of the gate. John hears him honking the horn. He watches, waiting for the dead to head towards the truck before he makes his move. He cuts the chain, the gate swinging open. One by one, the dead turn towards the sound of the creaking gate. They stumble their way towards him, snarling at the promise of fresh meat. John holds the bolt cutters in his hands, baseball bat style, figuring it will make a much better weapon than his knife, what with the extra range. He swings at the skull of an approaching corpse, it's brains splattering over the parking lot. It goes down with a thud, but not before he swings at the next. John kicks at another, allowing himself time to take out a third.

Negan watches his brother, rather impressed. He runs beside him, swinging Lucille. They both swing almost in unison, taking out the dead with no close calls. They stand a few moments, catching their breath.

"Guess i owe you an apology," Negan smiles. "You did good."

"Fuck yeah i did," John smirks. "We going in there then?" John gestures the bolt cutters towards the convenience store.

"Yeah, let's just make sure there's no fucking surprises in there," Negan says as he heads towards the main entrance. He bangs Lucille against the doors, standing in silence for at least a minute, waiting for the tell tale sound of the dead.

"I think we might've gotten lucky," John says. "Don't sound like there's anything in there."

"I agree, let's get fucking to it then," Negan opens the doors.

 

They had hit the jackpot. So much so, that Negan had to radio through to his men for more trucks.

John sits on the back of their truck, leaning against several crates of canned goods. It'd be a good few hours before the other trucks got there, and there was no way they were leaving this little goldmine unmanned. So they had time to kill. He watched Negan childishly swinging at rocks with his bat. John couldn't think of it as Lucille, it was too weird.

"You fucking see that, John? That one was outta the damn park!" He chuckles, shading his eyes with his hands.

"Simple fucking things," John shakes his head with a smile.

"You're just saying that cos you suck at baseball," Negan taunts him.

"The fuck i do," John frowns.

"Come on then," Negan gestures his head. "Let's see what you got."

John hops down from the truck and makes his way over to Negan.

"Here," Negan holds out Lucille.

John stares at her, and in that moment, he really does think of it as her. He takes her from Negan, feeling the weight of it in his hands.

"Alright, you ready?" Negan asks, holding a rock in his hand.

John nods, still slightly fixated with the bat. Negan throws the rock, and John swings Lucille. This time, it really does go out of the park, going much further than Negan's attempts.

"The fuck? That's bullshit!" Negan frowns.

John smiles slyly. "Wow! You're a bad fucking loser."

"Fuck that," Negan makes his way over to John and snatches Lucille from him. "You got fucking lucky, that's all."

"What the fuck ever," John rolls his eyes.

"Come on, i'm fucking starving. Let's see what the fuck we got here," Negan says as he heads towards the back of the truck.

John follows him. He feels a sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach. Lucille had felt good in his hands, made him feel powerful. He curses himself mentally, and heads towards the truck.


	5. Chapter 5

Negan and John head through the gates of the school. It's well past dark, and there are men outside dealing with a cluster of the dead building up. No sooner has John stepped out of the truck, than Katie is there to greet him.

"John!" She smiles, wrapping her arms around his neck, smothering him with kisses. "I was worried about you."

"I told you not to worry, sweetheart," he smiles, planting a kiss on her forehead.

"This is bullshit! I got three fucking wives and not one of them is waiting for me," Negan pouts childishly.

"Aww, come here," Katie hugs him, patting him humorously on the back.

"Thanks, i always did like pity hugs," Negan jokes.

"You're welcome," she giggles.

John wraps his arm round her waist, pulling her back towards him. "You been alright while i've been gone?"

"Yeah, i helped clear out some of the dead. They keep building up on the west wall," she says.

"Yeah, we saw when we drove in. I hope you were fucking careful?" John raises an eyebrow.

Katie rolls her eyes. "You're not the only one who can handle the dead."

He squeezes her waist. "I know, sweetheart. I just worry about you, that's all. Not a fucking crime is it?"

"No," Katie smiles. "I think it's sweet."

"Christ! You two are about to make me vomit," Negan frowns.

"Ignore him," John smiles slyly. "He's just pissed off cos his wives aren't worried about him."

 

Katie unties her hair, grabbing her hairbrush from the drawers. "Everything go okay?"

John lies back against the bed, his hands behind his head. "Yeah, but i knew it would."

"You two get along alright?"

"About as good as we've ever got along," he turns to his side, resting his head against his hand. "Did you have a good look around?"

"Yeah," she turns to him. "I did."

"And?"

She sighs. "Everything mostly seems alright here."

"Mostly?"

"Well, there seems to be a hierarchy here. He's got some kind of points system, which is alright i guess. Except there were a few people who seemed close to malnourished to me. Mostly the elderly."

John frowns. "Anything else?"

"I learned more about his wives. Apparently, if his men earn enough points, they can.. you know, spend the night with them," she grimaces.

"You're fucking joking?"

She shakes her head. "To be honest though, his wives don't seem to mind. Anything they want, they get."

"Still weird as fuck though," John says.

"I'll tell you another thing i noticed."

"What's that?" John asks.

"Negan's men. Not all of them are what you'd call.. friendly. In fact, i think a few of them might be absolute fucking creeps."

"How so?" John raises an eyebrow.

"The way they speak to some of the people at the bottom, i saw one guy shoving an old man around. You should speak to Negan about that. And.. the way they look at some of the young girls. I don't like it," she grimaces once again.

John chews on his bottom lip, deep in thought. "I'll have a word. If things start to get bad here though, then we'll get the fuck out."

Katie nods and goes back to brushing her hair. She hears the bed creak as John gets up, making his way over to her. He strokes her shoulder, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh. He leans over her, kissing at her neck. Katie brings her hand up, running her fingers through his hair.

John grabs her arm gently, pulling her up from the chair and pulling her into his body. He pulls her vest up over her head, his hands caressing her waist as their lips collide.

Katie grabs the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head, her fingers curling through his chest hair. She moans lightly as he nips at her bottom lip. Her hands go to unbuckle his belt, but he places his hand over hers.

"You're eager, aren't you," he smiles slyly.

"Hmm, don't play games with me," Katie pleads.

John tucks his fingers underneath her bra straps, slowly slipping them down her shoulders. He rubs his nose playfully against hers. "You know how much i love games," he smiles as he unclasps her bra with ease, tossing it on the floor.

Katie grabs his hips, pulling him against her. "But i want you," she pouts, rubbing herself up against him.

John grins as he grabs her waist and throws her down on the bed, pinning her wrists playfully.

 

Negan sits, leaning his head against hand. He listens, a look of disgust and shame on his face. He knows it's wrong, but he can't help it. Wanting something he can't have had been a weakness of his, his entire life. Didn't everyone want something more once they realised they couldn't have it? He thinks about how Katie had hugged him. Such a small thing, but it had sent shivers down his spine nonetheless. Feeling her body pressed up against his, even for that brief moment had been torturous. So he sits there, listening to his brother in the next room. He closes his eyes and clenches his fist, his nails digging into the palm of his hand so hard they draw blood. Negan opens his eyes, his hand relaxing. "Get a fucking grip! Weird ass mother fucker!" He says to himself. He gets up from his chair and leaves.

 

After a good night's sleep, John felt refreshed. With a much clearer head, he made his way around the school, trying to see what Katie had seen. It didn't take him long. As a guy, he knew all too well when a man was lusting after someone. The disturbing thing, was a lot of the people being lusted after were not much more than children. He walked round the school, wanting to punch half of the men there. John knew he couldn't do that on just a look, so he went to his brother. John knocked at the door, waiting patiently for an answer.

"Come in!" Negan shouts.

John heads through the door. One of Negan's wives sits on the leather sofa, a book in her hand. She's dressed in a tight black dress and heels. John had seen Negan's wives before, but he still found it amusing to see someone dressed as such, especially these days.

"Hey, how the fuck are you? You sleep alright?" Negan asks.

"Yeah, i slept really good actually," John smiles. "I wanted to talk to you.. in private," John says, his eyes flitting towards Negan's wife.

She rolls her eyes, slapping her book shut. "I can take a hint."

"Sorry," John smiles awkwardly as she heads out the door.

"Don't be," she smiles.

Negan sits on the sofa. "So what is it?"

John sits on a chair in front of him, resting his arms against his thighs. He clasps his hands together, trying to keep himself calm. "It's a few things actually."

"Go on," Negan gestures with his hand.

"Your points system," he starts.

"What about it?"

"Are you aware that some of your people are practically starving?"

Negan frowns. "Really?"

"Really," John nods. "I've seen it."

"Maybe they aren't earning enough fucking points?"

"Look, i get the points system, i do. But you got enough food to feed _everyone._ No one should be fucking starving," John says.

"So what would you suggest? That i just give food to people who haven't fucking earned it? Then where would i fucking be? I'll tell you where i'd be shall i? I'd have every fucker doing fuck all, expecting something for nothing."

"I'm not saying that. But how the fuck are people supposed to work for you if they don't have the damn strength to even get out of bed? Maybe they could have basic rations? Getting extras as and when they earn it?" John suggests.

Negan chews on his bottom lip. "There anything else?"

"Yeah, your men."

"What about my men?" Negan asks.

"I don't know if you've played close attention to them or not? I'm gonna say no, because i don't think you'd fucking stand for it either. But i've seen the way they look at the women here, the way they manhandle the workers, and even worse, the looks they keep giving the younger girls," John grimaces.

"You sure about that?" Negan frowns. "I know a lot of them are assholes, but i'm not sure they're like that."

"Well don't you think you _should_ be fucking sure!" John raises his voice. He rubs his thighs with his hands, trying to compose himself.

"You trying to tell me how to run this fucking place?"

"Maybe you fucking need telling. Especially if you're willingly turning a blind eye to shit like that," John says.

"Is that what you fucking think of me? You think i'd turn a blind eye to something like that? Well!" Negan spits.

John clenches his jaw, then he breathes deeply, his face softening. "No, but it's fucking happening, Negan. And you need to put a stop to it quick, before it gets out of hand. Katie and i aren't gonna stay in a place that allows shit like that."

Negan's eyes widen briefly. He takes a hand, running it over his freshly shaved face. "Look, i hear you John. I won't fucking stand for shit like that either. I see shit like that happening, i'll fucking deal with it. And i hear you about the rations. I'm not here all the damn time, i didn't know people were fucking starving. I'll fucking sort it, okay?"

John nods, feeling triumphant. "Okay. I'm sorry, i don't think that of you. I just.. i don't like seeing shit like that, that's all."

Negan massages his temples with a sigh. "It's alright. I guess i've kinda taken my eye off the ball. I'm glad you said something, no fucker else would."

 

Katie wanders round the school while John helps clear the dead outside. She walks through what would've once been the cafeteria. Now however, it's filled with beds divided by curtains, much like a hospital. She's happy to see some of the previously half starved residents actually eating. Though it doesn't look very appetizing, it's better than nothing she supposes. Katie heads to the kitchen, the sound of cutlery filling her ears. "Hi," she smiles at Janet.

"Hey, i'd love to chat, but i got a million things to do," Janet says, wiping at her brow with her sleeve.

"That's alright, you need some help?" Katie offers.

"You've worked hard enough today," Janet smiles. "I tell you what though. You can take that to Negan," she points at a tray.

Katie nods with a smile as she grabs the tray.

She quickly makes her way to his room, knocking at the door with her foot.

"Come in!" Negan shouts from inside.

Katie pushes on the handle with her elbow and shoves the door open with her back.

Negan sits on his sofa with a pile of papers in his lap. He looks up, expecting Janet. His eyes glisten as he sees Katie with his tray, a smile plastering his face. "Hey," he gets up from his seat. "Here, let me get that," Negan takes the tray from her, placing it on his coffee table. "Thanks for bringing this."

"Not a problem," Katie smiles. "Anyway, i'll leave you to eat in peace."

"Would you like a drink?" Negan asks as she turns to leave.

"I wouldn't want your dinner to get cold," Katie says.

"It's fine. From someone who's eaten enough cold food from a can, hot food's a fucking luxury," he chuckles.

Katie smiles. "Okay, i'll have a quick drink," she nods, sitting down on the sofa.

Negan grabs two glasses and his signature bottle of whiskey. "You like whiskey?"

"I like anything as long as it's got alcohol in it. Not that i'm an alcoholic or anything," Katie laughs.

Negan laughs as he fills their glasses. "The thought never crossed my mind."

She takes the glass from Negan, sipping it. "Hmm, this is good."

"It is, i'm stockpiling this shit, that's for sure," he smiles.

"Did John speak to you earlier?" She asks.

Negan looks at her, his lips curling up into a smirk. "He did. Things got a little heated, but he was right. I know that. I've already started addressing the stuff John mentioned."

"I saw that," she nods.

"It's fucking hard being the guy in charge. I try my best, but some things just fucking slip my attention," he frowns.

"Well you're doing good. You've brought all these people together for a start, you're keeping them alive. That's better than most people are capable of," she points out.

"Thanks," he smiles almost sweetly. "I gotta ask, how did you meet my brother?"

"He saved my life, that's why i absolutely adore him," Katie giggles.

Negan's face drops slightly, but thankfully she doesn't notice.

"I was surrounded by the dead, and he saved me. He was.. quiet when i first met him. Like he had something weighing on his shoulders. But then don't we all?" She reasons. "Once he started talking though, i couldn't get him to shut up," Katie laughs.

"So you've both just been rambling around?"

"We did have a group, and John was kinda leading it. But we got overrun. He said he wouldn't lead again after that," she shakes her head sombrely. "Blamed himself. But it wasn't his fault. We're lucky we made it out alive."

Negan smiles sympathetically. "I hear you."

Katie finishes her drink. "I should get going."

"You don't want another?" Negan tips his empty glass towards her.

"God no, i can't handle my drink," Katie laughs. "And i've got stuff to do. Thanks though, it was nice talking to you."

"Any time," Negan smiles as she leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

_Katie sits between John and Negan. They'd drunk over a bottle of whiskey between them and were fairly tuned in. John smiles at her, stroking the side of her face. He places his fingers beneath her chin, his beard brushing against her as he kisses her softly. He pulls away, looking deep into her eyes with a sly smile before he turns her face gently away from him. Negan runs a hand through Katie's hair, his soft lips pressing against hers. John kisses her neck as Negan bites on her lip. "Oh god," she moans, feeling a deep heat between her thighs, their hands all over her, caressing, stroking, grasping...._

"Katie," John frowns as he shakes her awake. He'd been in and out of sleep when he thought he'd heard her say his name. He'd smiled and rolled over, that was until he'd heard her say Negan's name. "Katie," he frowns once again.

Her eyes flicker open, light shining in through the thin curtain. "What?" She croaks. "Is something wrong?"

" _Yeah_ , something's wrong. You just said Negan's name in your sleep."

She stares at him, bemused. "Did i?"

"Don't try and be all cute, you said my name too," John grimaces. "Were you having a dirty dream about the both of us?

"John, i literally _just_ woke up."

"You know that's gross as shit, right?"

"What's gross?" She asks.

"Having dirty dreams about me and my brother."

"Oh please," she frowns. "So you're telling me that if i had a twin sister you wouldn't think it's hot?"

John opens his mouth then closes it, not immediately sure how to answer. "That's different."

"And why's that?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Because then that's only weird for you, i'm a selfish mother fucker, i thought you'd realised that by now," he smiles.

"You're so cute," she smiles, wrapping her arms around him.

"Yes i fucking am, but don't go changing the subject."

Katie kisses his neck, running her lip over his beard. She runs her hand down his chest, tracing the hairs all the way down his stomach and under the waistband of his boxers. "You sure you don't want me to change the subject?" She whispers, stroking the head of his cock.

John groans, his legs twitching. "Hmm, depends on the subject."

Katie runs kisses over his chest, grazing her teeth over his nipple.

"Ahh, don't bite it," he whinces as she nips at him.

She giggles, making her way down his trail of hairs. Katie tugs at his boxers, his cock springing out in front of her. She runs her tongue up his shaft, swirling it teasingly around the tip before taking him into her mouth.

"Oh, fuck!" He groans, grabbing at the back of her head. She bobs her head up and down his length, tasting every inch of him. John pulls her head up. "Better stop that or i'll blow my fucking load all over your face," he smiles, pulling her on top of him.

"I don't mind," she purrs seductively.

John runs a hand through Katie's hair. "I know you fucking don't you dirty little, girl. But i want this," he slams his hips up, filling her to the hilt.

Katie moans loudly, clawing at his shoulders. She rolls her hips slowly, taking in the fullness of him. His fingers dig into her hips as she rocks against him, the sound of his groans building up the heat inside her faster. "John," she moans breathlessly. He lifts his ass off the bed, going deeper inside her. His hands pull at her hips as his own come up slamming against her.

John grunts with every thrust, trying his best to hold back, but _fuck_ she feels good.

He doesn't have long to wait. "Oh god! John! Don't stop!" She begs, moaning loudly as he thrusts into her relentlessly.

"That's it, baby. Fucking come for me!" He growls.

And that's all she needs as her orgasm hits. "Oh, John!" She moans as she pulsates around his cock.

John loses his rhythm as he reaches his own end. "Oh fuck!" He groans as he comes inside her.

Katie collapses on top of him, her breath heavy. John runs his finger down her back as he attempts to catch his breath.

She rolls off him, nestling in the crook of his shoulder. "I love you," she whispers.

John tenses slightly. "I know you do, baby."

"Do you love me?" She asks, nuzzling at the side of his chest.

John lets out a deep sigh. "People throw that word around all the time, like it means something," he turns on his side stroking Katie's hair away from her face. "I care about you, a lot. But love? Things have a way of getting fucking complicated when you start with that shit," he sees the disappointment in her face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, i'd rather you were honest. You take care of me, you've saved my life God knows how many times. I can't ask for more than that," she smiles.

 

"This was a stupid idea," John frowns.

"You only think it's stupid because you fucking suck at it," Negan laughs as he casts out his line.

"Well we'll just fucking see about that," John smiles as he casts out his own line.

Negan pats the space on the log beside him. "Come on, park your damn ass. You think i've got fucking fleas or something?"

"No, more like herpes what with all those wives," John teases. He sits down beside his brother, resting his rod in front of him.

Negan smiles. "Remember when Mom took us fishing for the first time?"

John laughs. "Yeah, how could i forget? You pushed me in."

"Hey, that was a fucking accident," Negan insists.

"Sure it was," John says sarcastically.

"She had no fucking idea what she was doing but she took us anyway, didn't want us to miss out," Negan looks off into the distance thoughtfully.

"I know," John smiles. "She was fucking awesome."

"Did you ever go looking for him?" Negan asks, turning to John.

"Fuck no! I didn't need that asshole growing up, sure as shit didn't need him after," John says.

"Me neither, fuck him," Negan nods. "Mom did awesome on her own, even if she wasn't that great at fishing," he laughs, John laughing with him.

"Yeah, she was the best," John smiles.

"I'm sorry," Negan says as he looks out at the lake.

John looks at him, confused. "You fucking farted or something?"

Negan laughs. "Fuck you, asshole, i'm trying to be fucking serious here," he takes a breath and clears his throat. "I meant.. shit," he rubs at his temples. "When Mom got sick. I put it all on you. I tried to make out like i had shit to do, but honestly, i couldn't do it. I couldn't watch her waste away," Negan bites back tears. "She was always there for us, and i couldn't do that one fucking thing for her, and i'm sorry."

John nods. "You know, there were nights when i thought the exact same thing. Watching her deteriorate like that, and you nowhere to be fucking found. But in all honesty i envied you a little. I don't blame you for not being there."

"Are we good?" Negan asks. John turns to him, confused. "She always hated it when we fought, i think she'd like it if we were good. We owe her that, right?"

John nods. "Yeah, she would like that."

"So are we?" Negan asks.

John's face drops as he looks at his brother. He thinks about how they had gotten here. Competitive yet inseparable as kids, everything had gotten so complicated as they'd gotten older. Thinking of his Mother, she would have been horrified to see her boys like that. "Yeah," he puts a hand on Negan's shoulder. "We're good," he smiles sincerely.

"Enough of the chick flick bullshit, looks like i got a bite," Negan smiles.

 

"You're my lucky charm," John smiles at Katie perched on his lap.

"Damn, this is fucking bullshit!" Negan frowns, tossing his cards on the table.

"You're a sore loser," John teases him.

"Oh yeah? Least i win where it fucking counts, how many fish did i bring back again?" Negan smiles.

"Hey, i brought back some," John frowns.

"He brought back fucking two," Negan tells his men around the table. "Two wouldn't fill my left testicle."

"Not at the rate you're fucking emptying them they won't," John chuckles.

Katie slaps John playfully on the shoulder. "Ignore him, Negan. You did good today."

"I fucking did, didn't i," Negan says smugly as he shuffles the cards. One of Negan's men comes through the door with a barrel in his arms. "Oh, shit! Is that what i think it is, Shaun?"

"It sure is, Negan," he smiles proudly as he places the barrel on the floor.

"What is it?" John asks.

"Shaun's been busy making home brew," Negan smiles. "Don't stand there looking pretty, Shaun, poor me a fucking glass."

Shaun pours Negan a glass and hands it to him.

All eyes are on Negan as he takes a drink. He spits it out all over the table. "Holy shit! What the fuck did you put in that?"

"Is it not good?" Shaun frowns in disappointment.

"No, it's fucking awesome, that's why i just fucking spat it everywhere," he says.

"Shit!" Shaun frowns. "I really thought i'd got it right this time."

"I could help with that," Katie says.

John looks up at her giving her waist a squeeze. "You know how to make home brew?"

"Don't look so surprised. I know how to make all sorts. Beer, moonshine, whiskey. I can make pretty much anything as long as i have the right stuff, " Katie says.

"How the fuck do i not know this?" John frowns.

"Well we've kinda been busy surviving, i didn't realise my brewing skills would be so important," she laughs.

"Well this is about the best fucking news i've heard since for fucking ever," Negan smiles. "I want you on that first thing tomorrow."

"I'm supposed to be helping with laundry tomorrow," Katie says.

"Fuck laundry! This is way more important," Negan smiles.

"I second that," John says.

"Well i'll see what i can do," she smiles.

"Awesome. Shaun, you can take that shit away," Negan points at the barrel.

"You're a woman of many talents," John smiles at Kirsty. "You never fail to fucking surprise me."

Katie nuzzles the crook of John's neck, his beard tickling her nose. "How about we go to bed? I'll show you my other talents?" She whispers in his ear.

"Hmm, you don't have to fucking ask me twice," he smiles. "We're gonna call it a night."

"What, already? We're just getting started," Negan frowns.

"Yeah, have fun with that, i got important shit to.. do," he smiles slyly.


	7. Chapter 7

"Let's hope we get back before John does," Negan smiles.

"He's not the boss of me, i do have a mind of my own you know," Katie says.

Negan chuckles. "Never said he was, sweetheart. Can't fucking blame him for worrying about you though, i know i wouldn't want you out here if i were him."

"Well you're not the boss of me either," she smiles. "I don't wanna keep sitting at the school doing nothing."

"There's fucking plenty of shit for you to do there. Brewing beer for one."

"Yeah, and that's brewing nicely. I don't wanna get content, if things turn to crap i wanna be able to know i can handle myself out here," she says.

"I hear you, just don't expect John to be happy about it."

"I like to keep him on his toes," Katie jokes.

"I bet you fucking do," Negan grins. He looks out at the road, his eyes squinting as he sees something up ahead. "What the fuck is that?" He frowns. His eyes widen. "Shit!" He stomps on the breaks. Katie bumps her head on the windscreen. Negan turns to her. "Fuck! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she winces, rubbing at her head. "You think they've seen us?" She asks as she stares out at the sea of dead ahead of them.

Negan shakes his head. "No. We'd better turn the fuck around."

"It creeps me out how they all herd together like that. John and i saw a herd a month before we met you. It wasn't even half the size of that though, there's gotta be close to two hundred there."

"And then some," Negan says. "Just let me radio through to Joey, he's good with shit like this, redirecting herds. Not sure what he's gonna do about this one though?"

"Can't we just leave them to wander off?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Can't risk it. If those fuckers head towards the school they'll rip right fucking through it. That or they'll starve us out."

After speaking with Joey on the radio Negan had turned the truck around. He'd had every intention of heading back to the school, the herd freaking him out a little. But Katie had convinced him otherwise so they'd pressed on.

"Look at that," Katie says.

"What?"

She points to a sign saying _'Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates.'_ "That means there must be a prison nearby."

"Yeah, it does," he frowns.

"We checking it out?" She asks.

Negan chews on his bottom lip. "We'll head for it, see if it looks worthwhile. If it looks like it might have shit worth taking then i'll radio through."

"Can't _we_ take a look?"

"Fuck no!" Negan frowns. "I know you said you wanna keep John on his toes but do you want him to fucking murder me? I'm not saying you can't come, i'm just saying we'll need more people."

They drive another few miles before they look on in disappointment.

"Well that's a damn shame," Negan huffs as he looks at the ruins of the prison.

"Looks like it burned down a while ago," Katie says.

"Yeah, probably happened when all this shit got started. Inmates probably started rioting, makes me fucking wonder actually?" Negan shudders.

"Wonder what?"

"How many fuckers starved to death?" He says.

"That wouldn't happen," she says, unsure of any such thing.

"Course it fucking would. Most of the guards that worked there probably stopped bothering to turn up for work soon as this shit started."

"But someone must've gone there, let them out," Katie says.

"Would you? I mean, some of the guys in there were probably serial killers and rapists. Would you really want people like that running around?" He asks.

"There _are_ serial killers and rapists running around, i've seen it," she frowns.

Negan shakes his head. "Maybe some got out, but the rest were probably left to rot. That's a sick kinda justice when you fucking think about it."

"I don't wanna think about it, maybe we should change the subject," she says, a shiver running down her spine.

"Fine by me," he smiles. "We should probably head back, i..," Negan looks out at the road in front of him.

"Is that one of yours?" Katie asks as she looks at the truck blocking the road.

"No, it's not. And i don't fucking like the looks of it either," he stops the truck, the engine still running. Two men stand on the truck bed and another stands on the road beside it.

"What we were just saying, about serial-," she starts.

"Don't," Negan cuts her off. "If you start with that shit you'll fucking panic. We need to keep our heads clear, okay, sweetheart?"

"Okay. So what do we do? Maybe they're alright?" She says.

Negan shakes his head. "No, i don't think they're alright. You don't go blocking the road like that unless you're trying to trap people."

"Looks like only one of them has a gun," she gestures towards one of the guys in the truck.

"Yeah, it does," Negan frowns as the guy at the side of the truck begins to walk over. "It's them or us," he turns to her. "Can you shoot?" Katie nods. Negan grabs a revolver from the glove box and hands it to her. "Answer me honestly, have you ever killed anyone?"

"N..no," she stutters.

"I'm gonna need you to shoot him, soon as i open this door. I can shoot the other two from here. Can you do that?"

She nods, her eyes wide.

"Okay," Negan takes the gun from his belt. "On three. One, two, three!" He opens his door and jumps out, shooting at the two men on the truck. They drop before they even have the chance to go for their weapons. Negan spins quickly on his heels, fully expecting to have to shoot the other guy. But he's already on the floor, a bullet hole in his head. Katie hadn't even stepped out of the truck, still frozen with the gun in her hand. Negan opens the door and crouches in front of her. "Hey, you okay?" He places his hand over the gun and takes it from her.

"I.. i'm not sure," Katie says shakily.

He takes her hand gently. "You know that was the safest thing to do right? Those guys definitely didn't have good intentions."

"But what if-,"

"No," Negan cuts her off. "Don't do that. What if we'd given them the benefit of the doubt and they'd taken advantage of that? There'd be no coming back from that, not with just the two of us out here. We did that right thing, and we're still here because of it, don't you fucking doubt that for one second."

A tear rolls down her check as she trembles, half hanging out of the passenger seat. Negan lifts his hand to her cheek, wiping at her tears with his thumb. She leans forward resting her head against his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him lazily. Negan breathes in her scent, closing his eyes as he strokes her hair. "I know you're right, doesn't make it easy though."

"I know, that's because you're such a good person," he places his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. "Just don't let this take over you. It had to be done, sweetheart."

 

They drive through the school gates, the only prize for their journey out being the dead men's weapons and gas. That and their lives.

"Fuck," Negan frowns as he sees John waiting for them impatiently. He steps out of the truck, John already racing towards him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" John fumes.

"Calm the fuck down, we got back in one piece," Negan says calmly.

John stands right in front of him, his face mere inches from Negan's. "Don't tell me to fucking calm down! How the fuck would you feel if i took one of your fucking wives out there?"

"Oh come on, that's not even remotely the fucking same, they're my wives because they can't fucking handle shit out there. Katie's more than capable of handling herself," Negan reasons.

"Do i look like i give a shit? She doesn't leave here without my fucking say so! You might be in charge around here but you're not in charge of her!" John fumes.

Negan raises an eyebrow. "You know, you're starting to sound a little sexist."

John grabs him by the collar. "Fuck you, you sarcastic prick! I've had enough of you and your fucking jokes!"

Negan pushes John away. "Do i look like i'm fucking joking? She's not a fucking possession."

John stares at him and smiles coldly. "Oh i see. You want her don't you? I fucking new it!"

Negan's face drops, he turns towards the truck and sees Katie still sat in the passenger seat. "Can we put this to one side for now? She needs you."

John looks over at Katie and frowns. "She looks spaced out, what the hell's wrong with her?"

"We ran into some trouble while we were out. She's alright," he assures him. "She's not hurt. But she needs you right now. We can talk about this later."

John glances at him briefly and nods before heading over to Katie.

 

John knocks on the door of Negan's room before stepping in, he doesn't wait for an answer. "I could fucking knock that head of yours off your damn shoulders, you know that?"

Negan looks up at him from the sofa, a glass of whiskey in his hand. "I love you too, brother."

"Don't get fucking cute with me. If she hadn't been out there she wouldn't have had to do that." He frowns, clenching his jaw.

Negan nods before taking a sip of his whiskey. "I know that. But it's fucking done now," he looks up at him. "She alright?"

"She will be, no thanks to you. What the fuck were you thinking going out there just the two of you?" John asks.

"She wouldn't shut up about it," Negan reasons.

"You like her don't you?"

Negan sighs deeply. "You want one?" He holds up the glass.

"No, i don't fucking want one. I want you to answer my damn question!" John shouts, his fists balled at his sides.

Negan nods and downs the rest of his drink. He stands up, walking over to John. "Yeah, i like her," John grinds his teeth, his face going red. "But i'm not gonna do anything. I won't do that to you," he places a hand on John's shoulder.

John stares at him in surprise. "What?"

"I don't wanna fuck things up between us. You're my fucking brother for Christ's sake!" He tilts his head. "I promise you, John. I won't do that to you. We need to stick together, we're stronger as a pair. Together we can kick this world in the fucking balls! I fucking love you, you, asshole," he smiles.

John clears his throat, his face softening. "You really mean that?"

"I wouldn't fucking say it if i didn't. Katie's hot as fuck, and she's fucking awesome! You can't blame me for liking her?"

"No, i suppose not," John frowns.

"It'll fizzle the fuck out. But you and i, that's fucking forever," Negan says.

John breaths deeply, a smile creeping over his face. "How about that drink?"

Negan pats his shoulder. "That's the fucking spirit," he smiles, heading over to the drinks cabinet and grabbing another glass. John sits down and Negan sits beside him. "So seriously," he pours their drinks. "How is she, really?"

John rubs his temples. "I'm not fucking sure. She's sleeping right now, but i'm not gonna stay long, don't want her to wake up alone," he grabs his drink and takes a sip. "I've tried telling her she did the right thing but she's just not hearing it right now."

"I could get the Doc to give her something, help calm her down?" Negan suggests.

John shakes his head. "No. I mean, if she gets worse then maybe, but i don't want her getting doped up."

"I am sorry for taking her out there, if i'd know that was gonna happen i wouldn't have," Negan says.

"I know," John downs the rest of his drink. "I just hope it doesn't eat at her. Killing someone isn't something you get over lightly."

"You've had to do it then?"

"Yeah, more than once. This world is full of fucking assholes. Can you believe that?" John smiles halfheartedly.

"Yeah, i can. I've had to do it myself," Negan nods. "She'll be fine, she's tough."

"I fucking hope so," John frowns.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

"It'll get easier, i promise," John says as he strokes her hair.

Katie curls her finger through his chest hair. "I know. It shouldn't though. Killing someone should never be easy."

"You did the right thing. Negan was right, those guys were only after one thing," he assures her.

"I wish i knew that for sure," Katie frowns.

"Any plans today?" He changes the subject.

"I'm gonna work on that brew. The beer should be ready for tomorrow, fingers crossed."

"I'll look forward to it," he smiles.

"What about you? You going out on a run?" Katie asks.

John shakes his head. "Not today. I'll see if they need a extra pair of hands on the fence later."

Katie kisses him chastely. "I'm gonna go shower."

John takes her arm, pulling her close to him. "You want me to join you?" He smiles.

"It's a communal shower, i don't think that'd sit too well with the other women," she smiles.

"Never know, they might like it," he teases.

Katie slaps his chest playfully. "Shut up."

 

Katie steps under the shower letting out an audible sigh as the hot water hits her skin.

"Heaven isn't it?" Frankie smiles.

"God it is. I'll never take a hot shower for granted ever again," Katie says. "Does it run off the generator?"

"I think so. I hated being out there," Frankie says as she washes her hair.

"Were you out there long?"

"No, i met Negan pretty early on. He always handled the dead," Frankie says.

"Is that why you're okay with being a wife?" Katie asks, then wishes she hadn't. "Sorry, i hope i didn't sound bitchy?"

Frankie laughs. "Not at all. And you're right. Karen was his first wife, and i saw how he took care of her. Karen and i are good friends, so she asked Negan if he'd take me on as a second wife. He jumped at the idea, i mean, what guy wouldn't?" She laughs.

"And now there's three of you," Katie raises an eyebrow.

"There'll probably be more. If he takes a liking to someone that can't handle themselves out there then i guess it's just a matter of time before we have another sister wife," she says.

"Sister wife, sounds nice when you put it like that," Katie smiles.

"You know, if it wasn't for you being able to handle yourself, and that fact that you're with his brother, i think you would've been wife number four," Frankie says.

"Really?" Katie laughs.

"Really," Frankie nods. "I hope you don't mind me saying this, but John's pretty damn hot."

Katie smiles. "Well i guess i can't mind, what with them being twins."

"Ahh, so i'm not the only one who's thought about the whole twin thing."

"Definitely not," Katie giggles.

"There's something about John though, i can't quite put my finger on it," Frankie says as she turns off the shower.

Katie grabs a towel, wrapping it round herself. "Is that good or bad?"

"Oh it's good. It's like," she clicks her fingers trying to find the right word. "Even though the world's the way it is now, he still carries himself in a certain way, he's got class."

"You don't think Negan has class?" Katie asks.

"Yeah, but i think his morals are slipping. This world does that to you, but your guy seems like the type to not let that happen, you're lucky," Frankie says.

"Hey, get out of here! I told you to stop that!"

Frankie and Katie turn towards the entrance of the shower room.

"What's going on?" Katie frowns.

"I think it's Chris again," Frankie furrows her brows before heading towards the entrance.

"Come on," Chris licks his lips. "Don't be like that, just a little peek," he pulls at the woman's towel.

"I said no!" She spits, holding onto her towel for dear life.

"Chris! Frankie steps forward. "I told you to stop coming in here."

He laughs in her face. "I don't know what you're being so uptight for? It's not like i haven't seen what's under there," he gestures towards Frankie's towel.

"That's not the point, Chris. She isn't Negan's wife. And even if she was, you can't just come in here like this. You need to get out."

"Come on, it's just a bit of fun," he smiles.

"Hey," Katie frowns from behind her. "She said get out."

Chris's face lights up. "Well look at you, if i'd known you were showering i would've got here earlier," he chuckles.

Frankie pushes at his chest. "Get out now," she says calmly.

He grabs her arm tightly. "You don't tell me nothing, bitch."

Katie steps forward. "Hey! Get the hell off her!"

Chris goes to grab her towel with his other hand before he's pulled backwards by the scruff of his neck, his back slamming against the wall.

John punches him square in the face, Chris's nose breaking with a sickening crunch. John grabs him by the collar and throws him to the floor, straddling him as he throws punch after punch, Chris's face becoming a mess of blood. "Fucking, fucker!" John yells, as he wraps his hands around Chris's throat and squeezes. John feels hands pulling him backwards, but his grip is so tight that he takes Chris with him.

"Hey, let him go, man," one of the men says.

John doesn't listen. His hands only leaving Chris's neck as they physically pry them off. Chris finally drops to the floor, gasping for air. John kicks at him as three of Negan's men pull him away. "You're a fucking dead man!" John almost roars. "You fucking hear me, asshole!"

 

Negan opens the door to the gym store cupboard, his men stepping aside. "Go on, we're good here," he nods at them. His men leave as Negan stares at his brother. "Well you did a number on Chris, that's for sure," he says.

John looks up at him coldly. "That asshole is lucky he's still fucking breathing."

Negan crouches down in front of him, Lucille resting against his shoulder. "Frankie told me what happened."

"Then you know what he did, what he was trying to do?"

Negan sighs deeply. "I do, and he'll be dealt with, i assure y-,"

"How many times has he done that?" John cuts him off.

"John, i'm handling it, okay?"

"No! It's not fucking okay! A lot of things have changed, but that isn't one of them. You can't just turn a blind eye to shit like that," John says.

"I'm not turning a fucking blind eye, what kind of fucking person do you think i am?" Negan frowns.

"I'm starting to wonder about that," John frowns.

"I'm trying to keep these people in line, what the fuck would you have me do with him? He's one of my best men."

John looks at him in disgust. "I guess it doesn't fucking matter does it? Looks like you've already made your damn mind up."

"He won't do it again," Negan assures him. "I'm sorry my men put you in here," he looks around the small storage room. "I hope they didn't harm you?"

"No, they didn't. Surprisingly, they actually fucking agreed with me. Guess you have some half decent men after all," John says.

"Come on, Katie's worried about you," Negan says as he stands up.

John gets up off the floor, staring his brother in the eye. "This isn't over."

Negan smiles. "I said, i'll fucking handle it. For once in your fucking life will you just trust me?"

"I don't trust anyone," John sneers as he steps out of the cupboard.

 

"Well it's about damn time someone gave him what he deserves," Karen says.

"I know, i was kinda hoping no one would show up so he could finish the job," Frankie says as she sips her drink. "Where's Lisa?"

"She's with Simon," Karen smiles suggestively.

"Guess we won't be seeing her for a while then, she always looks forward to Simon earning enough points. I think she likes him more than Negan," Frankie smiles.

"I think so too, just don't let Negan hear you say that," Karen says as she sips her own drink.

"I don't think John's gonna stay after that," Frankie shakes her head.

"Why would he leave here? It's safe, some of the people are alright," Karen frowns.

"You didn't see his eyes, Karen. There was a fire in them, and i don't mean in a sexual way, although now that i think about it, i bet he has some hot as fuck come to bed eyes. Anyway, as i was saying, he wanted him dead, you could see it."

"Negan won't be happy if he decides to leave, not since he has a thing for Katie," Karen frowns.

"Yeah, but it's not like that's ever gonna happen. There's no way Katie would ever agree to be a wife. One, she doesn't need to, two, she's with John, and three.. well there is no three so i'll just say John again," Frankie smiles.

"You like him don't you," Karen teases.

"What's not to like?"

"I definitely would," Karen giggles.

 

"Are you sure you're alright?" John frowns.

"I'm fine, he didn't touch me," Katie assures him.

"Yeah, but he would've done if i hadn't turned up. I really want this place to fucking work out," John shakes his head. "But i'm not sure it can. It's fucking filled with a bunch of weird as fuck weirdos. I don't know what the hell Negan is thinking?"

"I guess he's trying to fill this place with strong people, even if they're less than desirable," she says.

"Well i won't fucking have it. If i don't think you're safe here then we're fucking leaving," he says.

Katie places her hands against his shoulders. "Try and make this work. If there's a way, then at least try," she pleads with him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

John snakes his hands around her waist, dipping his head down and kissing her softly.

"You always think better when you're all relaxed," she whispers against his mouth, her hand trailing down beneath his waistband.

John groans. "You know me like the back of your fucking hand," he smiles before laying her down on the bed.

 

"I think he had the right idea, can't go round doing shit like that," Gareth frowns outside the infirmary.

"Yeah, but it's not like Chris was gonna rape them, Gareth," Rich says.

"Whether he was, or whether he wasn't, that's not the fucking point. You just can't do shit like that. A woman don't need to be watching her back every time she goes for a shower," he says.

"Alright, so what about the points system? With Negan's wives?" Rich asks.

"But that's their choice."

"So it's alright to grope them?" Rich smiles then winces as Gareth slaps him upside the head.

"No, it's not. I spent the other night with Karen. But that doesn't mean that every time i see her i have permission to grope her. Did they not teach you that shit in school?"

Rich shrugs. "I didn't get to finish, shit started before i graduated."

"I was being fucking sarcastic. You shouldn't need to learn that shit, it should be fucking obvious," he points a finger at Rich. "You need to stay the fuck away from people like Chris. David as well, he's another weird one," he shakes his head. "Things could be great here. It just needs some fine tuning, that's all."

 

John peers at them from down the corridor. He watches and waits for a good hour until they both leave to go get something to eat. _Rookie mistake_ , John thinks as he heads towards the infirmary.

He steps through the door, staring at the figure lying on the bed. Chris opens his eyes. They widen as he catches sight of John standing above him. John quickly places a hand over Chris's mouth. "Shh," John places a finger over his lips. "Everyone's sleeping. Wouldn't want to wake them now, would we?"

Chris shakes his head beneath John's hand.

"Good," John smiles. "You know, i'm a believer in redemption, people learning from their mistakes and changing for the better. I think you can come back from a lot of things. Maybe even murder. But people like you?" John shakes his head with a tsk. "I'm not gonna lie, i like to look at women, i mean, if they're stood right there in front of you it'd be fucking rude not to, am i right?"

Chris nods.

"Course i'm fucking right," John chuckles. "But there's a fucking line. And now that i've had time to think, i've seen you looking at more than just women, haven't i? John takes out his knife.

Chris shakes his head furiously.

"I, think, you're, fucking, lying," John smiles, tapping his knife against Chris's nose with every word before pointing it beneath his eye. "What you did earlier was bad enough, and with _my fucking woman_. But i've seen the way you look at the young girls here. I don't think people like you can change, brain's wired all wrong, there's no fixing that. So, i'm gonna do all the girls a favour," John whispers before he slits Chris's throat.

John takes a step back as he watches blood begin to drip on the floor. "Nighty night, asshole," John smiles as he heads back through the door.


	9. Chapter 9

"We were gone for like five minutes, i swear."

Negan runs a hand over his face. "And you didn't fucking see anyone? I mean, what the fuck, Gareth? You go away for five minutes and someone fucking butchers the guy."

"Least they had the sense to put a knife through his head," Gareth says.

"Yeah, a silver fucking lining to every damn cloud. Why don't you tell me some more words of wisdom?" Negan says, sarcastically.

"Sorry," Gareth says, a little sheepishly.

"Just get the fuck outta here," Negan motions with his hand.

Gareth and Rich head off as Simon stands beside him, hands on hips.

"Maybe it's not such a bad thing? The guy _was_ a fucking asshole," Simon points out.

"That's not the fucking point," Negan frowns. " _I_ , fucking decide what happens here, _me_ , not no fucker else. People need to know who's in charge round here."

"Any idea who it was?" Simon asks.

"Hmm, i've got a few ideas," Negan says, clenching his jaw. "Have someone get rid of this piece of shit before he starts fucking stinking up the place."

~

"I think it's ready," Katie smiles.

"Let me try it," Shaun says, pouring himself a glass. He takes a sip, his eyes widening.

"Not good then?" She frowns.

"You kidding me? It's awesome! Negan's gonna love it," he smiles, taking another drink.

"Good, i've got some stuff to do, you okay bottling it up?" Katie asks.

"Yeah, that's if i don't drink it all," he jokes.

~

John pulls the crowbar from the corpses head, watching it fall to the ground through the railing. He'd been helping clear the dead for the last hour, his hands aching and full of calluses.

"John!" Negan shouts from behind him. "You got a minute?"

John turns with a frown, wiping at his forehead with the back of his arm. He walks over to Negan, crowbar in hand. "What's up?"

Negan leans Lucille against his shoulder. "Where were you last night?"

"Balls deep in Katie," he smiles. "Why?"

Negan pouts, his stomach churning. "Chris is dead."

"Really?" John chuckles.

"Well i'm glad you find it funny," Negan frowns.

"What the fuck do you want me to say? The guy was a fucking asshole, he had it coming, so good fucking riddance."

"Was it you?" Negan asks.

John shifts his feet, staring at his brother. "The fuck does it matter? He's dead."

"It matters, because _i_ fucking say it matters. I'm in charge around here, i can't have my people running round doing whatever the fuck they want without my damn say so."

"What? Like Chris was you mean?" John raises an eyebrow.

"I would've dealt with him," Negan assures him.

"Yeah, course you fucking would've," John frowns.

"Hey," Negan places a hand against John's chest. "I would. Now, i need to know that we're on the same fucking page here."

John glances at Negan's hand. "If it's the same page that reads keeping these people safe, then yeah, we most definitely fucking are."

"What do you think i'm doing here? Everything i fucking do is for my people," Negan says.

"Good," John nods. "Then we don't have a problem."

"Was it you?" Negan asks again.

John smiles at him. "Like i said, i was balls deep in Katie last night. Ask her if you don't believe me, or maybe you should go check our bedroom out, my manfat's probably still all over the sheets."

Negan grimaces, clenching his jaw. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, brother. I'm all fucking good. Now if you don't mind, i've got dead fucks to put an end to, i'm on a fucking roll," John smiles, turning away from him and heading back to the fence.

~

John walks down the corridor, wiping at his brow. He'd had an eventful morning, taking out the cluster of dead with the others, and he was very much in need of a shower.

"Excuse me, Mister," comes a voice from behind him.

John turns on his heels, looking down at a little girl a few feet from him. Her eyes widen as she stares at him, and she takes a step back towards her room. John frowns, then looking down at himself, his plaid shirt covered in walker crap, he realises why she's being cautious.

"What is it, sweetie?" He smiles. She looks up at him distrustfully. John takes off his plaid shirt, placing it on the floor. He kneels, smiling sweetly. "My name's John, what's your name?"

She stares at John, unsure if she should be talking to him. But then his smile seems kind, so she finds her voice. "Emma."

"Emma, that's a beautiful name. So what did you want to tell me, Emma?"

"My Momma's bin sleepin for a long time, she won't wake up, an i'm hungry."

John frowns briefly. "Really? Well maybe she's just really tired?"

She shakes her head. "She don't normally sleep that long. She always gets up before i do."

"Okay, Emma. You wanna take me to her?" He asks, holding out his hand. John stands up as she takes his hand, following her into her room.

"She's there," Emma points towards the bed.

"Okay, Emma. You just stay there, i'll see if i can wake your Momma," he says, placing his hand against her shoulder. John steps over to the bed, standing in front of the window. His eyes catch sight of a bottle of pills on the floor, or much rather, an empty bottle of pills. He kneels down, pulling the cover back, his eyes widening. John grimaces as the stench of vomit smacks him in the face. Shit! He frowns, glancing over at Emma.

John makes his way over to her, kneeling down and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I tell you what, sweetie. Why don't you go to the kitchens, and ask Janet if she'll make you something to eat, tell her i sent you. And i'll wake your Momma up."

Emma nods, then she looks over John's shoulder with a smile. "Momma! She's wakin up," Emma goes to run towards the bed.

John quickly grabs her arm. "Why don't i see if your Momma's alright? She might need some medicine, sweetie. I think Janet has cake, you like cake, right?"

"My Momma can take me," she frowns, trying to shake her arm from his. "Lemme go, i want my Momma!" She yells, kicking him in the shin. Just as he's about to carry her out of the room, she kicks at him again, getting him in the crotch.

John gasps, his hands letting go of her briefly. She runs forward, jumping on the bed. "Momma, tell the mean man to go away!" Emma says, as she pulls back the covers. Emma looks at her Momma, confused. There's something wrong with her eyes. "Momma?" She whispers, her lip trembling. Emma screams as her Momma lunges at her, her teeth snapping. She feels hands grabbing her, not her Momma's hands thankfully, but John's, as he pulls her from the bed.

"Out in the hall!" He shouts at her.

She obeys him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she runs out into the hall.

John takes the knife from his belt, plunging it into the woman's skull. He stands there a few moments, his breath heavy, heart racing. Then he takes the blanket, draping it over her body.

He goes out into the hall, looking down at Emma, who can't be more than eight he reckons. John kneels in front of her, not sure what to say. She runs at him, wrapping her arms around him in a bear hug, sobbing her heart out.

"It's okay, sweetie," he says, rubbing at her back. "It's gonna be okay."

She shakes her head, rubbing snot against his shoulder as she continues to cry. John picks her up and heads down the corridor.

~

Katie sits on her bed reading a book. The door opens with a swing. "Hey, babe, you have a good morning?" She asks, her head still stuck in her book. "John?" She looks up. Katie steps out of bed as she sees John trying to comfort a little girl, a little girl that is clinging to his shoulders for dear life.

John looks at her as he rubs Emma's back. "Can you look after her?"

Katie nods. "Of course, is everything alright?" She frowns.

"I'm not sure," he shakes his head. John walks over to their bed, attempting to place Emma down, but she refuses to let go of him. He stands back up. "Emma," he says softly. "This is my friend, Katie. You wanna say hi?"

Emma shakes her head, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Katie steps towards her. "I had a friend named Emma," she smiles. "And, she had magical powers."

Emma lifts her face from John's shoulder. "Like a superhero?"

"Exactly, like a superhero. Would you like to stay here with me? I'll tell you all about her," Katie smiles.

Emma looks at John. "Will you come back?"

John smiles at her. "Of course i will."

"Okay," Emma nods, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand. John puts her down and she walks over to Katie.

Katie puts her hand on Emma's shoulder. "You know what? I think i have a chocolate bar somewhere," Katie digs through her backpack. "There we are, you like chocolate?"

Emma nods, wiping at her eyes.

"Here," Katie hands it to her. "Why don't you go sit down and eat that, and i'll just have a quick talk with John out in the hall."

"You'll come back though?" Emma pouts.

"Of course i will, we'll be two minutes," she smiles. Katie gestures for John to step outside.

"What happened?" She frowns, as they stand out in the hall.

John rubs a hand over his beard. "Jesus, her Mom just turned, right in fucking front of her."

Katie places a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, how did that happen?"

"I found an empty bottle of pills by her bed, and she was all covered in vomit."

Katie frowns. "Wait.. she killed herself?"

John nods. "Looks that way," he clenches his jaw. "How could someone do that? Just leave their little girl like that? And knowing that they'll come back? I dread to fucking thing what would've happened if i hadn't passed by when i did."

Katie places a hand against his cheek. "Well thank God you did," she smiles, kissing him chastely. Katie glances at the door. "Does she have anyone else?"

John shrugs his shoulders. "I've got no fucking idea. I'm gonna go see Negan now, let him know about it."

~

John knocks impatiently at Negan's door.

"Hold the fuck on!" Negan shouts from inside.

John waits, tapping his foot against the floor.

The door opens, Negan buckling his belt. "John, what the fuck do you want? This better be fucking important, i was busy in there," he smiles slyly, licking his lips.

"Someone just OD'd," he frowns.

Negan stares at him. "Who?"

John racks his brain, then realises he doesn't know her name. "Fuck, i didn't get her name, but she has a daughter. Poor thing thought her Mom was sleeping. She turned while we were both in there, almost got the little girl."

"Holy fuck!" Negan frowns, rubbing at his temples. "Where's the kid?"

"She's with Katie, i'm not sure if she has any other family?"

Negan nods. "I'll ask around, but these days, that's pretty fucking unlikely."

"Why would she do that?" John asks.

Negan stares at him. "The fuck should i know?"

"She had a daughter, Negan. A roof over her head, it doesn't make sense," John says.

Negan shrugs. "Why does anyone do anything anymore? People do all kinds of crazy shit, you'll give yourself a damn headache trying to figure out why."

"I think we should have a burial for her," John says.

"Why?" Negan frowns.

"For the girl," John says, confused by his brother's response. "Why the fuck do you think? She needs to say goodbye."

Negan sighs deeply. "Yeah, of course. I wasn't thinking. You know me, John, i'm not the most fucking sentimental guy in the world."

"Yeah, you don't need to fucking tell _me_ that," John frowns.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind," John shakes his head.

Negan stares at him. "You wanna bury her today?"

"No, it's getting too late now, and Emma's beside herself. It's best to leave it till tomorrow, she can stay with me and Katie till we figure shit out."

Negan nods. "Alright, i'll have someone take the body away, find somewhere to put her till tomorrow morning."

"Okay, we'll do it first thing."

"You look like you could use a drink, you wanna come in for one?" Negan offers .

John shakes his head. "I should be getting back, they'll be wondering where i am."

"Alright, well i'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, seeya," John says as he walks off.

~

John heads through his door with a tray in his hands. Katie and Emma sit side by side on the bed, still talking about superheroes.

"You still talking about superheroes?" John smiles, as he places the tray down on a set of drawers.

"Emma was telling me that her favourite superhero is Spiderman."

"Spiderman? Spiderman has nothing on Superman," John smiles.

"Did all the superheroes die like my Momma?"

John stares at her. "No, in fact, i think they're out there right now, flying around trying to save the world," he smiles. "Are you hungry? Because i brought us all something to eat, and.. there's cake."

Emma nods. "Can i eat my cake first?"

John tilts his head. "Now how can i say no to that face?"


	10. Chapter 10

John lifts his head from the pillow, rubbing at his eyes. He'd slept on the floor, giving Katie and Emma the bed. John gets up, looking down at them both sleeping. He smiles, walking over to the set of drawers and throwing on his clothes.

Katie stirs, turning on her side to see Emma sucking her thumb. She sits up, looking over at John. "You're up early," she whispers.

"I wanna make a start on her Mom's grave, the sooner we do it the better."

"You sure it's a good idea?"

"She needs to say goodbye," John looks down at Emma sleeping soundly. "She'll regret it as she gets older if she doesn't."

Katie nods, rubbing at her eyes. "I'll try and get her to eat once she's awake, she didn't have much yesterday."

"Can't blame her, poor kid," John says. He leans over the bed, kissing Katie on the forehead. "I'll seeya later, beautiful."

"Seeya," she smiles.

~

John wipes at his brow, sweat pouring off him as he rests his arms against the shovel.

"You need a hand?"

John turns his head. "Hey, Simon. If you don't mind, i'm sweating my fucking ass off here."

"Not at all," Simon smiles, grabbing another shovel. "Looks like it's gonna be a damn fine day, burial aside."

"Yeah," John says, tossing dirt aside as he goes back to work.

"You know, it's been doing the rounds that _you_ might have had something to do with the passing of our resident asshole pervert, Chris," Simon says, as he begins to dig.

"Really?" John frowns. "I wouldn't have thought that you were the kind to listen to gossip, Simon?"

Simon chuckles. "Yeah, well, there's not much else to do around here other than speculate."

"Yeah, i've noticed that," John says.

Simon nods. "Between me and you, it was good riddance to bad rubbish."

John looks up at him. "You think so?"

"Yep. Could do with someone taking out the rest of the trash, there's too many assholes here that don't belong," Simon frowns. "I'm not exactly what you'd call a _good guy_. But i got nothing on some of the pricks here."

"Yeah, i most certainly fucking agree, strictly between me and you of course," John smiles.

"Absolutely," Simon nods.

~

They stand by the makeshift grave, Emma sniffling as they cover the white sheet covering her Mom in dirt. John places a hand on her shoulder. She rests her head against his leg, wiping her nose against his jeans.

As Negan's men pat down the last of the dirt, Emma steps forward, placing her favourite white rabbit teddy on top. She walks back to John. "Now Momma won't be lonely."

John kneels down, his hands on her shoulders. "No, she won't," he smiles. Emma buries her face in his shoulder. John picks her up. "I'm gonna take her inside, try and get her to eat something."

Katie nods her head. "I'll be along in a minute."

Negan stands beside her, Lucille hanging over his shoulder. "Did she have any other family?"

Katie shakes her head. "No, but we'll take care of her. She's really taken to John."

"Yeah, he was always good with kids," Negan smiles.

Katie turns to Negan, wide eyed. "Did he have any?"

Negan shakes his head. "No, neither of us did. Never got round to it, both too fucking selfish i guess."

Katie crosses her arms over her chest. "It's so sad, leaving her little girl like that, what must she have been thinking?"

"She obviously fucking wasn't thinking, maybe it all got too much for her?" Negan says.

"I guess, doesn't make sense to me," she shakes her head.

Negan turns to her, Katie's hair blowing in the breeze. He'd tried to stop thinking about her, but it was hard, literally. The other night, balls deep in his wife, he'd pictured Katie and almost called out her name, not that his wife would've cared if he had. He shakes his head, trying to put it out of his mind. "Me neither."

~

John sits with Emma in the main hall, watching as she picks at her food.

"If you don't eat then you'll never be a superhero," he says, resting his elbows against the table.

Emma looks up at him. "I don't wanna be a superhero no more, i wanna be with Mommy."

His face drops. "Hey, you can't be with your Mommy, sweetie. She's gone."

"I wanna be gone like Mommy."

John gets up from his seat, making his way round the table as he kneels in front of her. "Your Mommy is watching over you right now, and she wouldn't want you to be gone. She'd want you to grow old, she'd be sad if you didn't grow old."

Emma shakes her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't wanna make her sad."

"Of course you don't, sweetie. Why don't you try eating as much of that as you can, and then we'll go find something fun to do?"

Emma nods, spooning her food into her mouth.

"You're good with her," Frankie smiles.

John looks up, resting his hand against the table as he rises to his feet. "She's got no one else."

"And few people would give a shit like you do, just goes to show the kind of person you are," Frankie says.

"Well thanks, but it's nothing. I'm sure Negan would do the same," he smiles, trying not to let his eyes go any lower than her neck.

Frankie tilts her head. "You think so?"

"What kind of asshole wouldn't?" He frowns.

~

Negan watches John and Frankie from a distance. His knuckles turn white as he clutches at Lucille, his jaw clenched. _How the fuck does that fucking asshole do that?_ He frowns, as he watches his wife smiling like a love sick teen. None of his wives had ever looked at him like that.

He drops his head, shaking the thought from his mind before he heads back down the corridor.

~

John tucks Emma under the covers, kissing her forehead. It'd been a long hard day, and it had taken a lot out of her. "Night, sweetie," he smiles. John turns his head at a knock on the door.

He opens the door, a small woman stood there nervously, looking up at him unsurely.

"Hey," he smiles. "Can i help you?"

"I.. i'm not sure, this is..," she shakes her head.

"I'd ask you inside, but i just got Emma off to sleep," he says, closing the door behind him as he steps out into the hall.

"This is probably really stupid, i mean, you're Negan's brother. But.. people have been saying good things about you."

"Well that's good to hear," he smiles. John looks down at her, sensing the worry in her features. "If you've got something you wanna tell me, then i fucking assure you it won't go any further. I know how to keep my damn mouth shut.. well, when it counts anyway," he chuckles.

She nods, looking left and right before facing him again. "It's about Julia."

"Emma's Mom?" He asks, raising an eyebrows.

"Yeah, i was close with her. She.. she was struggling with earning enough points to get by. For her and the little one. Some of Negan's men offered her food in exchange for.. sexual favours. But, i think they were hurting her."

John clenches his jaw, his fists curled at his sides. "Who?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know, but i think she said she spoke with Negan about it, or she was going to?"

"Fucking fucker," he growls, trying to keep his voice down.

"I'm not in trouble am i?" She asks, playing with her hands nervously.

John's face softens. "No, sweetheart, you're not. We'll keep this between us while i figure out what the fuck i'm gonna do about it."

"I don't know that Negan knew for sure," she says.

John nods. "Well i sure as shit appreciate you telling me this."

She nods before heading down the corridor.

~

Negan slams his hips, his head buried in the crook of Frankie's neck. "Fuck!" He groans, his legs tensing as he shoots his load inside her.

Negan rolls off her, his breath heavy. He turns to Frankie. "What were you talking about with John earlier?"

Frankie turns to him. "When?"

"Don't act fucking dumb, you were all over him in the main hall, don't think i didn't fucking see you."

"I was just telling him how nice it was that he was taking care of Emma," she frowns.

"I bet you fucking was, that's my brother all over. He just rocks up wherever the fuck he wants, chats a line of bullshit and comes up smelling of fucking roses," Negan sneers.

Frankie sits up on the bed. "He's doing a good thing, Negan. Taking care of her like that, it's not like he has to."

Negan reaches over to her, placing his fingers under her chin. "You just make damn sure that he keeps his hands to himself," he frowns, his eyes cold as he curls his fingers around her neck, his grip tightening. "You so much as let that fucker put his hands on you, you'll fucking regret it, the pair of you, you hear me?"

Frankie nods, his hand wrapped so tightly round her throat she's incapable of speech.

"Good," he smiles. "Now get the fuck outta here, i got shit to do."

~

Katie works the fence, pulling the crowbar from the skull of a dead one. She'd gone back to her room, but John had been in a strange mood. So with Emma sleeping soundly, she'd come out here to keep herself busy.

She liked the women here, especially those who were working the fence with her. They were strong, and not afraid to get their hands dirty.

Joanne, who was currently elbow deep in the remains of the dead, had killed three men apparently.

"Does it not make you feel bad?" Katie asks, wiping at her brow.

"Why would it? They were bad men, sick even. First time, i was with a guy, we came across two men outside a convenience store. They wanted what we had, that included me," she grimaces. "They killed the guy i was with, but i took out my gun and shot them both in the head before they could take me. Second time, i came across this creepy ass guy out in the woods, just before i found this place. Had a W carved in his forehead. His breath stunk something awful."

"Sounds creepy," Katie frowns. "So did he try and attack you?"

Joanne shakes her head. "I didn't give him the chance."

Katie lowers the crowbar, turning to her. "So you killed him without knowing one way or the other?"

Joanne looks at her, raising an eyebrow. "Honey, i wasn't taking any chances. My instincts told me he was bad news, so i went with it. You'd do well to trust your instincts, otherwise you might end up dead, and there's no coming back from that.. well, except as one of these dead fucks."

Katie nods, turning back towards the fence. "Looks like we got them all, for now. I wonder why we get so many?"

"Noise maybe? But i think they can smell us in here," Joanne says. "You wanna go get something to eat?"

"Sure," Katie smiles, heading back inside.

~

John sits with his head in his hands, the room dark and quite. The only sounds are Emma's constant breaths as she sleeps.

He rubs at his temples, wondering what the fuck he's going to do. Would Negan really have done nothing if Julia had gone to him? John didn't want to believe it, but with the way things were going round here, it didn't exactly instill him with confidence.

Negan had always been a bad egg. Everything he touched seemed to turn to shit, or at the very least left icky finger marks all over it that John always seemed to have to clean.

_It'd be better if he was gone_ , John thinks, then he scolds himself mentally for thinking such a thing of his own brother. _Christ John! What would Mom think if she heard you thinking shit like that?_ He sits there in the dark, trying to think of a way forward.


	11. Chapter 11

Negan sits on his sofa swirling a glass of whiskey in his hand. He'd barely slept, dark circles beneath his tired eyes.

He lifts his head as someone knocks on his door. "Yeah," he says, taking a sip of his whiskey.

"Hey, Negan. I just-," Frankie stares at him. "Jesus, Negan. Sun's only been up an hour."

"Well thanks for stating the fucking obvious, you must've done real well in high School," he says, sarcastically.

"The hell is wrong with you?" She frowns.

"Nothing's wrong with me, sweetheart," he smiles, knocking back the rest of his drink. Negan stands up, placing his glass down on the coffee table. "Did you fucking want something?" He chuckles, rubbing at his temples. "What the fuck am i thinking? Of course you want something. Why the fuck else would you be here?"

"I wanted to borrow a book, but i can see you've got issues," she says, turning to leave.

Negan grabs her arm, pulling her close to him. "Don't get fucking smart with me. Or would you like to go mop up piss with the rest of the workers?"

"Negan," she frowns, trying to shake herself from his grasp.

He moves his face closer to hers, their noses almost touching. "I'm starting to wonder why i keep you around anymore?"

"Negan, you're hurting me," Frankie whimpers.

Negan looks down at his hand, his fingers buried deep in her arm. There's a knock at the door, and he loosens his grip, his eyes widening briefly. "Yeah," he says, running a hand over his hair.

"Hey," John smiles, as he steps inside. He looks over at Frankie and Negan, tension thick in the air. "You want me to come back later?"

Frankie shakes her head, biting back tears. "No, i gotta go anyway," she smiles weakly, not looking him in the eye as she leaves.

John frowns as he watches her head out the door. "She alright?" He asks.

"She's fucking fine," Negan says, waving a hand. "You want something?"

"Just to give you some good news," John smiles. "We just came back with a whole shitload of supplies. Canned shit."

Negan frowns. "I'm confused?"

John stares at him. "About what?"

"About the entire fucking thing, i didn't realise you'd gone out?"

"Yeah, we went out yesterday. Didn't Simon tell you?" John asks.

"Does it look like i'm in the fucking know? How many of my men did you take out there? And who the fuck authorised it?"

"Calm down, Negan," John frowns.

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down. I'm in charge around here, and don't you fucking forget that!" He spits.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? We brought back supplies, shit we need. I don't see what your damn problem is?"

"They're _my_ men!" Negan yells, his eyes red.

John squints his eyes, staring at him bemused. "Have you been fucking drinking or some shit?" He glances over at the table, finding the empty glass. "I'll take that as a fucking yes."

Negan takes a step towards John, clenching his jaw. "You think you're better than me, don't you?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" John frowns. Negan stares at him coldly, and John doesn't fail to notice. He places a hand on Negan's shoulder. "What are you doing, Negan? You're losing it, and i don't wanna see you do that again," John squeezes his shoulder gently. Negan looks away from him, biting on his lip. "Hey," John says. Negan turns to him, his eyes welling up. John places his other hand on Negan's chest, looking him in the eye as he shakes his head. "Don't go there, you're better than that, i fucking know you are."

Negan drops his head, his shoulders sagging. He nods, looking at his brother. "Fuck, i'm sorry."

John nods, pulling his brother close as he hugs him. "It's alright," John assures him, unsure of any such thing.

~

"Oh, fuck!" Simon groans, his hips snapping against Lisa as she writhes beneath him, moaning with every thrust. She pulsates around him, tipping her head back as she claws at his shoulders, her release coursing through her like lightning.

Simon pulls out of her, shooting his hot load all over her stomach. "Fuck!" He grunts, as he strokes himself slowly, his cock twitching in his hand as he spasms out the last of his juice over her.

Lisa smiles, biting on her lip as she watches him. He leans over her, kissing her sweetly before stretching over to her bedside table to grab her a tissue.

She wipes at herself before resting her head against his chest, Simon wrapping an arm around her.

"You keep spending all your points on me you're gonna waste away," she smiles.

"How's that?" Simon asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You'll have nothing left over to buy food," Lisa giggles.

"To hell with food. Anyway, you're good enough to eat," he smiles. "How's the big man?"

Lisa lifts her head. "You really wanna waste our time together talking about Negan?"

"No, i wanna keep pounding that pussy of yours till you can't walk," he grins, squeezing her ass.

"So why are you asking?"

Simon breathes deeply, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot lately."

"About?" She asks, her fingers playing idly with his chest hairs.

"The way things are around here. I think this place is falling apart."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm starting to think..," Simon shakes his head.

"What is it?"

"That Negan might not be the right person to be in charge anymore."

Lisa stares at him wide eyed. "What do you mean? Are you thinking of taking over?"

He shakes his head. "No, i don't want that kind of responsibility. I'm happy being a right hand man."

"So what are you talking about?"

"John."

"John? Negan's brother?"

"Yeah. I'm starting to think he'd run things much better than Negan. I mea-," Lisa places her hand over his mouth.

"Don't say stuff like that," she shakes her head.

Simon gently takes her hand from his mouth. "Why? You disagree?"

She opens her mouth then closes it, staring at the door as if Negan might appear by magic. "No, he's.. he's been different lately. But that doesn't mean he's not the right man to lead us anymore, things might get better?"

"I'm not saying i'm gonna do anything rash, just that i'm thinking, that's all."

"Well you should keep it that way, i wouldn't want you to get hurt," Lisa frowns.

Simon brushes her cheek with his finger. "You falling for me? Because that would be worse than getting caught talking shit about Negan."

"No, i'm only interested in one thing," she smiles, rubbing her thigh against his crotch.

"Don't worry about it, i'm not the only one who thinks it."

"You haven't spoken to anyone else about this have you?" She asks, her eyes wide.

"No, but i've heard whispers. A lot of people seem to think the same way as me, that John's more up to the job, that he'd make a better leader."

"Just don't go doing anything stupid. Anyway," she smiles, sitting astride him. "We've got another hour, let's make the most of it. "

~

John speeds down the corridor, opening the door to his bedroom to find it empty. "Shit!" He grabs his backpack off the floor, dropping it down on the bed as he grabs whatever belongings of his and Katie's he can find, cramming them inside. John pulls the drawers open, taking out what little clothes Emma has and adding them to his backpack.

He sits down on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath as he rubs at his temples. _Are you really gonna leave? Maybe you can make things right?_ But he knows it's too late for that. Negan wasn't just slipping, he was falling, and fast. John knows it's only a matter of time before Negan cracks, and he doesn't want to be there when that happens. John knows it'll be a risk, taking Katie and Emma out there, but he's not sure being here is much better.

~

Negan knocks on John's door, Lucille hanging over his shoulder. He turns the handle. "Anyone home?" He smiles, as he pushes the door open. Negan steps inside, shrugging his shoulders as he turns to leave. He stops, frowning as he sees John's backpack on the floor. Negan kneels down, pulling back the zip, his eyebrow raised as he rummages through. His eyes go cold. "You fucking fucker!" He spits, rising to his feet and kicking at the backpack.

~

Katie sits with Emma in the hall, watching Emma push food around her plate.

"You should eat, sweetie," Katie smiles.

"It's yucky," Emma says, scrunching up her face.

Katie laughs. "I know it is, but it's good for you. Especially if you really wanna be a superhero," she looks across the hall, seeing Negan making his way over. "Negan, will you tell Emma that if she wants to be a superhero she needs to eat her greens."

Negan stands in front of them, his breath heavy. "Erm.., yeah, can't be a superhero if you don't eat that shi-,"

"And that's enough of that," she says, cutting him off. "You okay?" She frowns.

"Yeah, i'm fine," he nods.

"You seem a little on edge," she says.

"Aren't we all?" He smiles weakly. "You seen John?"

"Erm.., not for a few hours actually. You sure everything's alright?"

"Everything's fine," Negan assures her. "I think Arat wanted some help on the wall, you up for that?"

"What about Emma?"

"I'll find someone to watch her, you go," he nods.

~

John races down the corridor, heading for the hall. He stops at the sound of Emma's voice, backing up as he looks through an open door. "Emma."

She runs out to him, hugging him tightly. "Where you been, you were s'posed to play hide an seek, you said we could."

He smiles. "I know, sweetie, we can play later," John puts her down.

"Hey, John," Julia smiles.

"Hey. You seen Katie?" He asks.

"Yeah, they needed her out on the wall, Negan asked me to mind this little one."

"I don't need minding, i'm not a baby," Emma insists.

"Of course you're not. I hope you're being good," John smiles.

"She's an angel," Julia says.

"Well, i'm gonna go find Katie, and then i'll take Emma off your hands," John says.

"Okay, well there's no rush," Julia nods.

"Back in five," John says, waving at her as he heads down the corridor.

~

John pushes the door open, stepping outside.

"John!" Negan shouts from behind him.

John turns, stepping back inside. "Hey, what's up?"

"Katie, she's in the brewing room, said she wants to see you."

John frowns. "You sure? Julia said she was working the wall."

"Yeah, but she had shit to do there first," Negan says, swallowing deeply as he rests Lucille against his shoulder.

John nods as he walks off.

~

John turns the handle, stepping inside and taking a quick scan. He frowns, staring around the empty room. Fuck sake! John takes another step forward, slipping and almost falling on his ass. He grabs onto a table beside him, steadying himself. John's nostrils flare, his brows furrowed. Kneeling down, he brushes his fingers against the floor, bringing them up to his nose. The fuck? He pulls his hand away quickly, the smell of gasoline making his nose crinkle.

The door slams shut behind him. John turns, making his way over. He turns the handle, the door refusing to open. "Hey, who the fuck's out there?" He's met with silence, but as he steps back, he sees the shadow of a pair of feet. "Hey! Open this fucking door!" He yells, whacking his hand against it. "Stop fucking around!"

"I'm sorry."

John frowns. "Negan? What the fuck are you doing?"

"This is how it has to be, it's for the best," Negan says.

John's eyes widen as he hears the sound of a match striking. "What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing, Negan? Don't you fucking do that!" John is met with silence once again, silent except for the sound of the match dropping. He jumps backwards as fire races under the door, making it's way towards the spirits that are currently brewing in the multiple jars on the table. "Fuck!"

~

Katie wipes at her brow, taking a drink of water and passing the bottle to Arat. "Jesus! It's unbelievably hot out here."

"Tell me about it," Arat says, handing the bottle back.

"I'll get back at it in a minute," Katie says, gesturing towards the school fence.

"It's alright, nothing i can't handle," Arat smiles.

Katie rises to her feet. "Hey, i can-," the sound of an explosion cuts her off, Katie ducking instinctively as she covers her ears. She looks up, thick, black smoke pluming at the back off the school. "What the hell?" She frowns, barely hearing her own words through the ringing in her ears.

She watches as men and women pile out of the school, smoke coming out with them as they open the doors. Julia runs out with Emma on her hip, Katie breathing a sigh of relief. "She okay?" Katie shouts over the ringing in her ears.

"Yeah, she's fine, just upset," Julia says, rubbing Emma's back.

"Where's John? You seen him?" Katie asks.

"I thought he was out here," Julia frowns as she looks around. "Said he was looking for you."

Katie shakes her head. "I haven't seen him."

Negan runs through the doors with Lucille, sweat pouring down his face. "Is everyone out?" He turns to Arat. "Do a head count."

Arat nods. "Everyone over here."

"Negan, have you seen John?" Katie panics.

Negan shakes his head. "I thought he was out here."

Katie's eyes widen as she watches more smoke drifting out of the doors. "Oh my god, he's in there," she goes to run at the doors, Negan grabbing her arm.

"Hey! You can't go in there," he frowns, pulling her back.

"John's in there!" She spits.

"Oh shit!" Gareth frowns, standing at the top of a supply truck. "There's a herd!" He yells, looking down at Negan and his men.

"Fuck!" Negan yells, rubbing at his temples. "We need to get outta here!"

Katie shakes his hand from her arm. "I'm not leaving without John!"

"Katie, we have to go, it's not safe here anymore, the dead will rip straight through this fucking place," Negan frowns.

She runs at the doors, Negan wrapping his arm round her waist and pulling her back. Katie screams, kicking out as she tries to escape his grasp. "We can't leave him! He's still in there!"

"Katie, he's gone," Negan shakes his head. "If he wasn't, he'd be out by now."

"No! You don't know that!" She screams.

Negan looks all around him as the dead begin to appear from all directions. He turns to his men. "Get everyone in the trucks, now!"

"I'm not leaving! Let me go!" She yells, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Negan shakes his head. "He's gone, Katie, and we have to go."

Simon runs out of the double doors, coughing into his hand.

"Simon!" Katie shouts. "Have you seen John?"

Simon stumbles his way over, shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice raspy.

"He's still in there," she cries.

Simon shakes his head. "If he's still in there then he's not coming out, i barely made it out of the laundry."

Katie shakes her head. "No. Please, we have to go get him," she whimpers.

"Simon, help me get her in the truck," Negan says.


	12. Chapter 12

"Five more minutes then we need to get moving," Negan says.

Simon nods. "Sure, i'll get everyone back in the trucks."

Negan looks around at the parked vehicles, his people sitting around on the side of the road talking idly. "Where's Katie?"

"I'm not sure, i think she stepped out for a piss, but she should've been back by now."

"Fuck!" Negan frowns. "Get everyone ready to leave, i'll go find her."

~

Katie sits with her back against a tree, staring vacantly into the distance. She rests her arms against her knees, tears falling down her cheeks. "John," she whispers, her voice broken. Dropping her head against her arms, her shoulders begin to shake.

"What are you doing out here?"

Her head shoots up, and for a moment she thinks it's John. Katie wipes at her face with the back of her hand.

Negan kneels down beside her. "It's not safe out here," he says, softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. She shrugs her shoulder away from him, getting up off the ground and making her way back to the road.

~

"We're gonna have to set up camp soon, boss," Simon says, his hands gripping the steering wheel. "Sun's gonna be down in a couple hours."

"I know, we'll keep going till we find somewhere more open, need to be able to see in all directions. There's too fucking many of us to hole up in a building."

Simon nods, staring out at the road. "What the hell happened? Back at the school?"

Negan shrugs. "Fuck knows, doesn't really matter now, we just need to keep going till we find somewhere safe."

"You think Katie's gonna be alright?" Simon asks.

"She'll have to be, he's gone. There's not a damn thing we could've done about it," Negan says, but as the words come out of his mouth, his throat goes dry. Tears threaten to fall, and he wipes at them with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry, Negan. This all happened so quick, i didn't even give a thought about you, i mean, he was your brother, i'm sorry."

"He'd want me to keep her safe, so that's what i'm gonna do. I don't have time to be fucking wallowing in grief," Negan says.

"I hear you," Simon nods. "Hey, how about there?" He points towards a large overgrown field on their left.

"That should do, long as we have men on watch, those woods shouldn't be a problem," Negan says.

~

"We've got nothing, Negan. If these people don't get food and water soon, they'll leave, i've no doubt about it," Simon frowns.

"If these fuckers think they can do better on their own, then fucking let them," Negan says, rubbing at his temples. He looks over at Greg. "You're a hunter, why don't you go take a stroll through those woods, take that ass wipe Dwight with you for back up, see if you can catch anything to tide us over."

Greg nods, heading off to find Dwight.

"Gareth, you go take a few men, see if you can find some water. David, you go find some wood so we can start a fire, get that water boiling once it gets here. Hey, wait," Negan turns to Simon. "Do we have any pots and shit?"

"Yeah," Simon nods. "There's plenty in the supply truck."

"Good, now we're fucking getting somewhere. I want more men on watch, there and there," Negan points. "Keep these people safe. If anyone sees any dead fucks, i want all these vehicles ready to go."

"Sure thing," Simon says.

Negan turns, watching Katie staring off into the distance as she sits on the back of a truck. He heads over, his face dropping as he sees the pain in her eyes the closer he gets.

"Hey," he smiles weakly.

Katie squints for a moment, but otherwise she doesn't register that he's there.

"I've sent people out to get food and water, we'll have some soon enough," Negan says. "Katie, look, i know you're grieving, but John would want you to-,"

"Don't try and tell me what John would've wanted," she says, coldly. She hops down from the back of the truck, staring up at him.

Negan drops his head. "I'm sorry, i just, i don't want you to give up, he wouldn't want that either."

"It doesn't matter what he'd want, cos he's dead!" She says, her lip trembling. "He's dead, and it's your fucking fault! You just left him to die!" She screams, tears falling down her cheeks.

Negan's heart pounds against his chest, as her words are more accurate than she thinks. "I'm sorry."

"You should be!" She says, gritting her teeth. "He was everything to me, and i know i wasn't the same to him, but he cared about me, and now he's gone," she shakes her head. "Just stay away from me. I don't wanna look at you, i don't wanna talk to you. Just leave me alone," she says, stifling sobs as she walks away from him.

Negan breathes deeply, a sea of eyes watching him. "The fuck you all looking at?"

His men look away, going about their business once again.

~

Negan sits by the fire, his people chewing on the deer Greg had managed to catch. There hadn't been much to go around, but it had been better than nothing. He glances over at Katie, still sitting on the back of the truck. He'd had someone take her some food, but she'd sent it back, refusing to eat.

"Mister, Negan."

Negan jumps a mile. He places his hand against his chest. "You scared me then, sweetie," he smiles.

"Where's John? Will he be coming here soon?"

Negan's face drops, unaware that no one had had the sense to tell her.

"Katie looks sad, did something happen?" Emma asks.

Negan takes her hand, opening his mouth then closing it again.

"Don't," Julia says, shaking her head as she walks over. "I'll do it," she looks over at Katie. "It should come from Katie, but she's in no fit state."

"Thanks, Julia," he nods, getting up and walking off.

~

Negan's wives sit together in the back of a truck, the sun long since faded.

"It's not safe out here," Lisa says, her eyes flitting all around her every minute or so.

"We'll find somewhere soon though, right?" Karen asks, raising an eyebrow.

They both stare at Frankie, waiting for her to assure them.

"How should i know?" Frankie frowns.

"Ladies," Simon smiles, resting his arm against the truck. "Everything okay?"

"No," Lisa says. "It's not okay. Why are we out here in the open? It's not safe."

Simon lifts a hand. "Now calm down."

"Calm down? We're in the middle of a field, what if a herd comes through whilst we're sleeping?"

"Well i know i won't be sleeping," Karen says.

"Ladies. Everything is fine, i assure you. We have people on watch, and they'll be on watch until we haul ass and leave," Simon assures them.

"Shouldn't Negan be assuring us?" Karen frowns.

Simon sighs deeply. "Give the guy a break, he just lost his brother."

Karen nods. "Sorry, we're just scared, and as you can see, we're not exactly dressed for this," she says, gesturing to her black dress and heels. "If we had to run, we'd be screwed. Negan promised he'd take care of us."

Simon nods. "And he will, along with all of us. Trust me, you're safe here. If a herd comes by, we'll be on the road before you even see it, i promise."

~

Katie lies in the back of a truck, four other people sleeping around her. She can't sleep. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees John. John lying on the ground and slowly suffocating on the smoke fumes, John screaming as he's burnt to a crisp. Katie wonders what his last thought was before he closed his eyes forever. Was it her? She doubts it. Most likely his mother. He hadn't talked about her much, but he obviously loved her.

"John," she whispers, her fists clenching at the moth eaten blanket that covers her, tears falling down her cheeks.

~

Negan sits in the woods alone, Lucille laid out in front of him.

He'd done a lot of bad shit over the years, but this? This was next level. He plays it over and over in his mind.

As he'd been stood in front of the door, his brother banging and screaming for him to let him out, he hadn't been sure he could do it. Even as he struck the match, he hadn't been sure. And once he'd dropped it, he'd contemplated just opening the door. But he hadn't, and now his brother was gone.

_Mom would be horrified. Of all the shitty things you've done, none of them matter compared to this. John was always her favourite, i could never match up to that fucker._

Negan scolds himself for thinking in such a way. But he does wonder if she'd be more forgiving had it been the other way around. If John had done that to him.

_But John wasn't going to, he was gonna leave. Why didn't you just let him go?_

Negan knows exactly why. No matter how much he tells himself that he thought John was going to take over, he knows that isn't it. It was Katie. He wanted her, and John was going to take her away from him, so he'd made sure he couldn't, simple as that.

He holds his head in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

~

"You shouldn't have used our supplies on him."

"Kurt, don't be such an asshole."

"Amy, we don't know him. What if we need them?"

"Well if you need them you'll have to treat yourself with that attitude, don't go asking me for any help," Amy frowns.

He sighs deeply. "I'm sorry, it's just, he could be a bad guy for all we know?"

"We're good people, Kurt, or at least i am," she says, rolling her eyes.

He nods apologetically. "You think he's gonna be okay?"

Amy nods. "He'll be fine. He's got second degree burns on his left arm, but if we look after it properly, he should be okay. He'll have a nice scar there, but i've seen much worse."

"What do you think happened to him? You think it was that school fire that we came across?"

Amy nods. "I'd guess so. From the looks of that place, he got off lightly. Right now, he needs to rest. You stay with him, i'm gonna go get more supplies from the car."

** Author's note **

**This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but i felt it was complete. Hopefully i'll be updating more often, especially since i've had some comments to motivate me. Thanks for reading. X**


	13. Chapter 13

They'd stayed in the same place for three days before moving on, Gareth spotting a herd as he stood on top of one of the supply trucks. Surprisingly, there had been no casualties, considering the size of their group.

As Negan stands with Simon, in yet another large open field, he rubs at his temples.

"We're low on fuel, Negan."

"Can't you tell me some good news, Simon? I really wanna hear something fucking positive."

"Well we've got plenty of water, and enough food for two days, so that's something," Simon reasons.

"We need to find somewhere, it's been two weeks, we can't keep staying out in the fucking open like this," Negan frowns. "I've got my wives bitching at me every five fucking minutes, and i can't fucking blame them. This is not what they signed up for, they're not built to be out here."

Simon spreads out a map on the bonnet. "This is where we are, see here, that's a town. If we move just a few more miles, we should be able to see it. There's gotta be somewhere that we can make our own, i'm sure of it."

"So your suggesting we move here," Negan points at the map.

Simon nods. "It's not far. And it should give us a good view of the town below, that's our best bet. We just need to find more fuel."

"Alright, you take some men out, see if you can fill up those fucking Jerry cans," Negan says.

"Sure thing," Simon nods.

Negan makes his way over to his wives, kneeling beside them as they spoon what looks like regurgitated bird seeds in their mouths.

"The fuck is that?" Negan frowns.

"Muesli," Lisa says. "And yes, it tastes as disgusting as it looks."

"I quite like it," Karen says, through a mouthful. "What i don't like, is freezing my ass off after dark. Are we any closer to getting some decent clothes?"

Negan rubs at his temples. "Look, i promise we'll find somewhere soon. How about i give you my blanket? So you have an extra one at night?"

"Wow, an extra blanket, problem solved," Karen says, sarcastically.

"Karen," Lisa frowns, digging her in the ribs.

Karen sighs. "Sorry, that'd be great," she smiles, weakly.

"Good, it won't be for long, i-," Negan looks over at Simon, seemingly deep in conversation with Katie. "Hold that thought," Negan says, barely giving his wives a second glance.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Negan smiles.

Katie drops her head, staring down at her feet.

"Yeah, Katie says she wants to help look for gas, i was thinking i could send her with Gareth," Simon suggests.

Negan shakes his head. "Absolutely not."

Katie clenches her jaw, refusing to look at him. "And why not?"

Negan turns to her. "Because you're not fit to be out there, and if something bad happened to you, i'd never fucking forgive myself."

"That's funny, you seem to have gotten over your brother quick enough," she spits.

"Katie," Simon frowns.

She looks up at Simon before storming off towards the truck she'd been sleeping in.

"You want me to talk to her?" Simon asks.

"No, leave her. She's hurting, i get it. I can take whatever shit she wants to throw at me," Negan says.

~

Katie holds her stomach as cramps rip through her. She hadn't eaten properly in days, and it was taking it's toll. As she kneels down on the moss covered floor of the woods, she hears a branch snapping. She gets up, the world around her beginning to spin as she draws her knife.

The dead thing makes it's way towards her, it's jaws snapping as it reaches out it's hands. She has neither the strength nor the will to fight as it lunges at her, Knocking Katie off her feet and falling on top of her.

She pushes at it's chest, but her efforts are futile. Suddenly it's lifted from her, Katie's eyes widening as John lifts the dead thing from her, throwing it down on the ground and putting an end to it with Lucille. Katie looks away, her breath heavy and her heart sinking with disappointment.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Negan frowns.

"I had it," she barely whispers.

"Bullshit! That fucker almost had you, what the fuck were you thinking? Do you wanna die? Is that it?"

Katie shrugs. "That's none of your business."

"It is my fucking business. Look at me, Katie."

She gets up, staring down at her feet, refusing to meet his gaze.

"I said fucking look at me!" Negan yells.

"I can't! Okay!" She shouts. "I can't look at you, because when i do, it's like i'm looking at him," Katie shakes her head, tears falling down her cheeks. "I can't, it hurts too much."

Negan's face falls, his shoulders sagging. "I.. i'm sorry, i didn't think," he says, realising that with his hair unkempt and his growing beard, he must look the spitting image of John. He kneels down in front of her, forcing her to see him. Katie looks away, but he places his finger under her chin. He wipes at her tears with his thumb as she looks at him, her lip trembling.

"He's gone. It's not fair, he didn't deserve to go like that," she sobs.

"I know, and i'm sorry," Negan says, softly, running a hand through her hair.

Katie falls forward against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what i said, about it being your fault. I just.. i want him back," she sobs.

"Don't be sorry," Negan says, his eyes wide as he strokes at her hair. He places his hands against her shoulders, looking up at her. "I need you to be strong, it's what John would want. He wouldn't want you to give up."

Katie nods, wiping at her nose. "I know, but it just feels wrong to keep on living."

"I know, but that's what you have to do. Not just for yourself, but for everyone else. You're important to this group, you know how to handle the dead, when your not half starved that is," Negan smiles weakly. "We need you. I'm not saying don't grieve, that's as natural as fucking breathing, just.. try and make some room between the grieving to live. I want you to live."

"Okay, i'll try. But..," she looks away, breathing deeply.

"But?" Negan raises an eyebrow.

"Could you sort yourself out?" She gestures towards his beard and mess of hair.

Negan chuckles lightly. He nods. "Well it wasn't exactly on the top of my list of priorities, but i'll get right on it," Negan smiles.

~

"Fuck!" Negan frowns, as he nicks himself with the blade.

Frankie stands behind him with her arms crossed. "Why are you even doing that?"

"What business is it of yours?" He says, staring at his reflection in the wing mirror.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to just answer a simple question once in a while, i am your wife after all."

Negan grabs a cloth and wipes at his face. "It was upsetting Katie," he says, as he turns to Frankie. "There, you fucking happy?"

"Do you even want us anymore?" She asks.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't seem like you have much interest in us anymore."

"Really? Seems like i was fucking interested last night," he smiles.

Frankie shakes her head. "It's not the same, it's like you're a million miles away."

Negan stares at her, bemused. "Cut the shit, Frankie. Being deep doesn't fucking suit you."

"You want her, don't you," she says.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Katie."

"Hey," Negan steps closer to her. "Watch what you're fucking saying. She's my brother's fucking widow, i don't want people hearing you say shit like that, especially her, you fucking hear me?" He says, through gritted teeth.

Frankie nods. "I hear you."

~

They roll on out, Simon and his men coming back with just enough gas to take them a few more miles.

Negan sticks his hand out of the truck, slowing it to a stop. "That it?" He nods.

"Yeah," Simon looks at his map.

"Let's step the fuck out, see what we can see," Negan says. "Everyone stay in your trucks," he orders. He walks through a field, Simon right beside him, a pair of binoculars in his hand. "Give me those," Negan gestures with his hand. He looks down at the town below, his eyes squinting. "Looks quiet. Apart from a few stragglers. Nothing we can't fucking handle."

"What's that?"

Negan jumps, lowering the binoculars. "Jesus, Katie. I thought i told you to wait in the truck?"

"Since when do i do as i'm told?" She smiles weakly. And though it doesn't quite reach her eyes, it's the first smile he's seen from her since John died, and his heart skips a beat.

"Well you're out here now, so what are you talking about?" Negan smiles.

"That big building there," she points. "Looks like a factory."

Negan aims his binoculars in the direction she's pointing. "Yeah, i think it is, or it was. Oh shit, it's got fences."

"They intact?" Simon asks, his voice sounding hopeful.

"Most certainly fucking looks that way," Negan smiles. "Here," he says, passing Simon the binoculars. "Take a fucking gander."

"You think we could take that place?" Katie asks.

"Don't see why not, it looks fucking perfect. It's high as well, which will come in handy for keeping an eye out for herds," Negan says.

"So what's the plan?" Katie asks, seeming much more focused.

"Simon and i will take some men out, check the place over, make sure it's safe. If it is, we move in."

"I can help," Katie offers.

Negan looks at her with uncertainty. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Don't do that, i wanna help. This is the first time i've wanted to do something other than cry since we left the school, let me do this," she says.

Negan lets out a deep breath and nods reluctantly. "Alright, but i want you right by my fucking side. If it all goes tits up, you fucking run, don't go being a fucking hero, okay?"

"Okay," she nods.

"We're gonna need a bolt cutter, gates are still locked, which is a good thing," Simon points out.

"Gareth has some in his truck," Katie says.

"Alright, let's get this fucking show on the road!" Negan smiles.

~

Katie looks up at the factory, her eyes wide. It's tall, with too many windows to count. The fences seem to be intact as Simon had suggested, and she figures it'll make a great place to stay, provided it doesn't have any residents, dead or alive.

Simon cuts the Chain, the gate creaking loudly as Gareth pushes it open.

"You stick to my left," Negan says to Katie.

She nods, holding her handgun low and pointed at the ground.

They head through the gates, ten of them in all, carefully looking at their surroundings.

"We'll check the outside first, make sure it's secure," Negan says.

They make quick work of securing the outside, splitting into teams of three and four.

"There's more outside space than i thought there'd be," Negan smiles. "Maybe even enough space to grow shit."

"It's really quiet, i don't like that," Katie shakes her head.

"Me neither, lulls you into a false sense of security. Don't worry though, we'll be careful," Negan says. "How did everything look?" He asks Simon, as they meet near the gate.

"Secure. I'm just waiting for the shit to rain down on us, seems almost too good to be true," Simon says.

"I hear you," Negan nods.

"You think we should split up or stay together? There's a million damn entrances into this place," Simon frowns.

Negan runs a hand over his cheeks, his face already like sandpaper in spite of shaving earlier. "Fuck, i'm not sure. We're stronger together. But if we get cornered by dead fucks we'll be fucking tripping over one another. Be faster if we split up into three groups, we could each take a floor, anyone sees something more than they can handle, fucking holler."

"Alright," Simon nods.

~

Negan, Katie, and Gareth, take the first floor, watching as Simon and the other group head in opposite directions. They step quietly and cautiously into a big hall, what they assume must have been the factory floor.

"What do you think they made here?" Katie whispers.

"Fuck knows?" Negan says, holding Lucille tightly. "This place is fucking huge though, plenty of room for everyone."

Once they're assured the ground floor is cleared, they make their way up, floor by floor. The come across a grand total of three of the dead, and from the looks of them, Negan guesses they must have topped themselves.

They make their way back to the main floor, waiting for the others. Katie walks over to a table, rifling through some tattered paperwork. There's a logo in the top right corner. _"Sanctuary,"_ she reads.

"What's that?" Negan asks, walking over to her.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Maybe it's the name of whatever this place was? Or the name of a company they worked with?"

"Sanctuary," he nods. "That's exactly what this place feels like right now. Once Simon gets his ass back down here, i'll have him bring everyone back here. This place is fucking perfect."

"It is," Katie nods, her jaw clenched as she bites back tears.

"Sorry, i'm here talking about how perfect this place is, and everything couldn't be further than fucking perfect," Negan frowns.

Katie shakes her head. "Don't be sorry. This is a good thing, for our people, for us. Least i can grieve in peace without having to worry about the dead. I needed this, to do something, thanks for not making me stay with the others."

"Well this is where you're meant to be, doing shit. You're not made for sitting in a truck," he smiles. "We're gonna make something of this place."

"I'm sure we will," she smiles.


	14. Chapter 14

Katie lies on the floor, a blanket wrapped around her. If John were here, she wouldn't feel the cold floor biting at her skin, or the chill blowing underneath the gap in the door. She squeezes her eyes shut, a tear falling down her cheek as the sun begins to rise.

Katie gives up on sleep, throwing back the tatty blanket and pulling on her boots. She grabs her toothbrush from her backpack, dry brushing her teeth and rinsing with a bottle of lukewarm water.

They'd been at the Sanctuary for a week, the name seeming to stick ever since she'd mentioned it to Negan. Though the place was cold and bare, everyone had settled in nicely, just grateful to feel safe once again.

She grabs her knife, tucking it into her belt, and heads for the main floor.

Most of Negan's people had taken the main floor, especially those who weren't skilled enough to handle being outside. She thought it strange that there were plenty rooms for all, and yet they'd chosen to sleep together like this. _Probably makes them feel safer, being together like that,_ she thinks.

Katie walks down the steps, her hand brushing against the railing as she attempts to be quiet, some of Negan's people still sleeping soundly. She heads outside, feeling the crisp morning air pinching her cheeks.

"Hey."

Katie turns, offering Gareth a weak smile. "Hey, how's it going out here?"

He holds a rifle in the crook of his shoulder. "It's quiet, just waiting for Negan to get back."

"Did he get through on the radio?"

Gareth nods. "Yeah, said they shouldn't be much more than an hour, but that was two hours ago."

"I'm sure they're alright, probably came across some dead in the road, stopped to put them down. Did they find anything?"

"I think they found a seed store, so we can start growing stuff. And Negan found a furniture place, so apparently we have two whole truck loads of furniture," Gareth smiles.

"Furniture?" Katie frowns. "You're getting excited over furniture?"

"It's not as important as food, but we still need something to sleep on," Gareth rubs at his back. "I don't know about you, but that floor is cold as shit, and my back's killing me. So yeah, i'm excited about the possibility of an actual bed."

Katie smiles. "I see your point."

Gareth turns at the sound of engines in the distance. "Here they are," he smiles. "Man, i hope i don't have to sleep on the floor again tonight."

Negan's truck rolls through the gates, two other trucks behind him. His eyes light up as he sees Katie waiting, but then his stomach rolls as watches her place a hand on Gareth's shoulder. He steps out, forcing a smile as he swings Lucille over his shoulder.

"Please tell me i don't have to sleep on the floor again?" Gareth asks, hopeful.

"Depends, we got a few beds, but we'll have to prioritise who needs one most, but you never fucking know," Negan smiles, knowing full well that even if he had a bed for Gareth, he'd rather smash the thing up than give it to him. He squeezes Lucille, trying to wash away the deep pang of jealousy.

"So how did it go?" Katie asks.

"Good, as fucking always. We've got enough food to last us another couple weeks, longer if we ration. Stuff to help us grow our own shit, things are looking up," Negan smirks.

"Good," she nods. "You need any help?"

Negan shakes his head. "They've got it," he frowns. "You look a little peaky, have you eaten?"

"A little."

"Well why don't we head back inside, get you something to eat?" Negan offers.

"I'm okay."

"Katie-," Negan starts.

"Seriously, i'm okay. I'll eat later," Katie assures him.

~

Katie sits in her empty room, leant against the wall as she sharpens her knife.

"Mother fucking, cock sucking, fucker!"

She frowns, opening her bedroom door and glancing through the double doors in front of her.

Negan had taken two large rooms for himself just after they'd arrived, and she heads through the first room, her footsteps echoing around the high walls.

Katie frowns as she stands in the doorway of Negan's room.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

Negan looks up at her with a smile, in spite of the flustered look on his face. "I'm trying to put this fucker together," he gestures towards a mess of bed parts on the floor. "But it's being a cunt."

Katie steps inside. "Well it's no wonder, could you have picked something more extravagant?" She laughs. "You need a hand?"

"Sure, since i obviously don't know what the fuck i'm doing," he chuckles.

She kneels down beside him, looking over the mess he'd made. "Well this is on wrong for a start," she frowns.

Negan watches her take it apart, his eyes running over her body as she leans over. He feels himself twitching against his boxers, shame washing over him as a clear image of John looking down on him flashes through his mind. Negan's sure that if John were here, he'd have the bed up already and he'd probably be half way through fucking her on it. He clenches his jaw, his fingernails biting at the palms of his hands.

~

Katie gets up off the floor, her knees popping as she rubs at her back. "Done," she smiles.

"It most certainly fucking is, thanks to you."

"Yeah, you weren't very helpful," she teases. Katie taps the bedpost with her hand. "Good solid bed, i erm.. hope you enjoy it," she giggles.

Negan smiles, biting on his lip nervously.

"I should get going," Katie says, heading for the door. She places a hand against her forehead, wrapping her fingers around the bedpost as a wave of dizziness hits her.

"Hey," Negan places a hand against the small of her back. "You okay?"

She nods, her eyes closed. "Yeah, just got a bit light headed."

Negan frowns. "Well that's probably because you haven't fucking eaten properly since you got here. Come on, sit the fuck down," he says, leading her towards his new leather sofa.

Katie drops down on the sofa, rubbing at her temples. "I'll be okay in a minute."

"I'm gonna go get you something to eat, and i'm not taking no for an answer," he insists.

Katie nods, grabbing a bottle of water from the floor and taking a few sips. She holds her head in her hands, hands running through her hair before leaning back against the sofa. It doesn't feel right, none of it feels right without him. Doing something as mundane as building a bed, carrying on as if he never existed, like he was never there. Katie wipes at a tear rolling down her cheek, sitting back up with her elbows resting against her knees.

"Hey, quickest thing i could find was soup, but you don't look like you could eat much else, so it's probably fucking best," he smiles, as he walks in with a tray, two bowls resting upon it. He places the tray down at her feet. "Be better if i had a damn table or some shit."

"It's fine," she smiles, picking up a bowl and resting it in her lap. Negan sits beside her, watching her eagerly as she slowly spoons soup into her mouth. "Are you gonna eat yours? It's weird you watching me like that."

"Sorry, i'm just worried about you, that's all," he says, picking up his bowl.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired."

"You not sleeping so good?" Negan asks. She shakes her head, dropping the spoon into her bowl as tears spill down her cheeks. "Hey," Negan says, softly, placing his bowl down and taking hers. "What's wrong?"

"Everything. I dream about him, and he's.. he's burning, and i just stand there and watch, it's like.. i can't do anything," Katie sobs.

Negan wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. She leans her head against his shoulder, her tears warm against his arm. "There was nothing you could do, you know that, right?"

She shakes her head. "I don't though. I should've gone in, i might have-,"

Negan places a finger under her chin. "No. There was nothing you could've done. If you'd gone in there, then both of you would be gone, and he wouldn't fucking want that, you hear me?" Katie nods, falling into his chest as he lowers his hand. Negan runs his hand through Katie's hair, breathing deeply. "There's not a damn thing you could've done. If i could trade places with him, then i would."

Katie shakes her head against his chest, pulling herself away from him. "Don't say that. I don't blame you. I was wrong for lashing out like i did, when we were out there."

Negan drops his head. "You were grieving, it's fine."

"It's not fine, you lost him too. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just.. eat, keep your strength up," he gestures towards the bowl. Katie nods, picking up her bowl once again. Negan watches her, his heart pounding against his chest and his appetite suddenly gone. "How's Emma?"

"I'm not sure, she won't talk to me. Can't say i blame her, i pretty much abandoned the poor kid when she needed me most," Katie says, between mouthfuls.

"That wasn't your fault."

"Doesn't matter. Not to her. She needed me, and i wasn't there. Julia's taking good care of her, she likes Julia," Katie says.

He nods, playing nervously with his hands.

"I should go," Katie says, getting up from the sofa.

Negan rises to his feet. "Well you know where i am if you need me," he smiles.

~

Katie heads back to her room, surprised to find a new single bed and a comfy looking green chair. She drops down in it, staring at the wall. Katie sits that way for ten minutes before heading out the door and making her way outside.

"Simon, you going out?"

Simon stands beside his truck, his arm resting against the open door. "Yeah, just a few of us. Haven't got the water running yet, so we need to go fill up," he gestures towards two large plastic barrels on the back of the truck.

"You think you can get the water running?" She asks.

"If we find someone that knows what they're doing, but right now we don't have anyone that knows shit. So until then, we're gonna have to make trips every day," Simon frowns. "David's already headed off in another truck. You wanna come with us? We've got room for one more."

"Yeah, i'm in," she nods.

"Alright, shouldn't take us that long, come on, you can sit in the front."

~

Katie stands watch as Simon and Gareth collect water from the stream, slowly filling the barrels. As always, she thinks about John. What he'd be doing if he were here, and she's sure he'd be right in the thick of it, rolling up his sleeves and breaking into a sweat with the others. She swallows deeply, blinking away tears.

Simon looks her way, then quickly turns his head. Crying women had always made him uncomfortable. Maybe because he wasn't exactly the most sensitive guy, but mostly because like almost every guy ever, he didn't know what to say.

He glances over occasionally between filling the barrels, dropping his head every time he nears the truck.

"We're good to go, get yourself in the truck," Simon nods to Gareth. He makes his way over to Katie, his hands shoved in his pants pockets. After a few moments of awkward silence, Simon runs a hand through his hair. "He was a good guy."

Katie turns to him, smiling weakly. "He was."

"He didn't take no bullshit, i liked that," he nods. "But Negan's right, John would want you to move on. I know it's easier said than done, but he would. I know it probably doesn't mean much, since i didn't know him that long, but i'm sorry he's gone. How he was, we need people like that."

"It means a lot," she smiles. "Thanks, Simon."

"We're done here, gonna head back," he places a hand on her shoulder. "You ever need _anything_ , you come find me, okay?"

"Okay," she nods, heading back to the truck.


	15. Chapter 15

Katie knocks back another glass of gin. She grabs the bottle, already a quarter way through it, and pours herself another glass.

Her room was looking much less empty since Negan had filled it with items he'd found whilst out on runs. He'd insisted on her having first dibs on whatever he brought back, and when she'd politely declined, he'd had stuff put in her room when she wasn't there.

Katie now had a coffee table, a grey rug, many books, of which one of Negan's men had fitted her some shelves, and a whole closet full of clothes. She knows she should be happy. A roof over her head, strong people to look out for her, a full stomach each day, and a bed to lay her head down each night. Yet she wasn't.

She holds the glass to her lips, scrunching her eyes at the harsh taste of the alcohol before she swallows it down. She'd never been a fan of gin, but then she'd never been a fan of drinking full stop. The days weren't so bad. There was always something to do, something to take your mind off things, to keep yourself busy. But as the sun faded in the sky, each night she found it harder and harder to sleep, John's screams echoing through her mind. So she'd taken to drinking, when she could find it. They'd been at the Sanctuary for just over a month, and they'd built up quite a good stock of food, that included a rather impressive amount of alcohol, and Katie being one of the people at the top, was taking full advantage of it.

Katie thinks about Negan. She'd been guarding the gates earlier and he'd gotten back from a three day run, a nice growth of hair on his face. Immediately she had looked away from him, lifting her head no higher than his chest. Then when she'd realised how ridiculous she must have looked, she'd headed inside without so much as an explanation, finding Arat to cover her shift. Katie had gone straight to her room and hadn't left since.

She couldn't stand him looking like that. It was hard enough with him being John's twin, but at least when he was clean shaven she could stand to be around him. But when he grew even the smallest beard, apart from his slicked back hair, he could literally be John.

Her head hazy, she downs another drink then heads towards Negan's room, unsure as to why.

As she knocks at the double doors, she hears muffled voices and laughter from within. Shit! She frowns, realising it's late, and he's most likely busy with one of his wives. She turns to leave when the door creaks open, Negan standing there shirtless.

"I'm sorry," she shakes her head. "I didn't realise how late it is, i'll go."

Negan reaches out a hand, placing it softly on her shoulder. "Hey, don't be silly. You're fucking welcome here any time. Just give me a sec," he says, heading back inside.

She waits outside, unsure as to why she's even there. Katie looks up as Frankie leaves, tying her silk dressing gown around her waist.

"Sorry," Katie says, looking away awkwardly.

"Don't be," Frankie says. "Are you okay?" She asks, taking a step towards her.

"Frankie," Negan says, pulling his t-shirt down as he steps through the door. He nods for her to leave, clearly irritated with her. She nods and walks off. "Come in," Negan smiles, stepping aside. Katie sits down on the sofa, Negan sitting beside her. "Everything okay?"

Katie shrugs. "You got anything to drink?"

Negan smells the gin on her breath. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, you look like you've had enough."

Katie laughs. "It's never enough."

"I hope you haven't gotten into the fucking habit of drinking, it really isn't good for you," Negan frowns.

"Why? You worried it'll kill me off? Much better way to go than being eaten alive, or..," she stops in her tracks, staring into the distance as she once again pictures John being burnt to a crisp.

"Jesus, have you been drinking to help yourself sleep?"

"A little, or at least it was a little at first," she smiles.

"Jesus fucking christ, Katie. I told you to come to me if you were struggling. You don't wanna get in the fucking habit of drinking every night, what the fuck are you thinking?" He says.

"I'm thinking that i'm tired of seeing John's face every time i'm alone, every time i close my damn eyes!" She shouts.

Negan drops his head, sighing deeply. "Fuck, i'm sorry. I really should've-," she silences him with a kiss, her lips pressing roughly against his. Negan's heart pounds against his chest, shivers running down his spine. He runs a hand through her hair, his other hand going to her waist as he groans against her mouth.

Katie wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers pulling at his hair as she parts his mouth with her tongue. His hands snake over her body eagerly and greedily, Negan leaning over her as he pushes her down on the sofa. Katie's eyes widen, her drunkenness disappearing in a heartbeat as she realises what she's doing. She places her hands against his chest as Negan's fingers trail up her thigh. She pushes against him gently, Negan hovering above her.

"What.. what's wrong?" He asks, his throat suddenly dry.

Katie gets up, Negan sitting on the sofa with a hurt look on his face. "Everything's wrong," she shakes her head, covering her mouth as if it will erase what just happened. "I am so sorry," Katie says, her eyes filling up as she heads out the door.

"Katie," he almost whispers, rising to his feet as he watches her leave. He wants to run after her, but he knows he shouldn't. So he stands there, running his fingers over his lips, his eyes closed as he tries to prolong the feeling he had whilst she was kissing him, feeling her body beneath his. He drops down on his bed, opening the zip on his pants before he reaches into his boxers, stroking his throbbing cock. Negan closes his eyes as he runs a hand down his length, the taste of her still on his lips. It doesn't take him long before he gets his release, shooting his load in his boxers, whispering her name under his breath.

He lies there staring up at the ceiling, his underwear still a hot sticky mess. Negan closes his eyes, sleep taking him quickly as Katie haunts him instead of his brother for the first night since he killed him.

~

Katie lays on her front, sobbing into her pillow. She'd gone there with the intention of doing more than kissing him. Who better to take comfort from than the man identical to the one you were grieving for? As wrong as she knew it was, she'd wanted more than anything to feel what it was like to be in his arms again, to feel his lips against hers. So she had been bitterly disappointed when Negan had proven a poor substitute, more than that, she felt ashamed, using him in such a way.

She turns over, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, John," she whispers. "Come back," she sobs, knowing that no such thing will happen, but wishing for it anyway, as if by some miracle he'll appear in front of her. Katie wouldn't even care if he were mad at her for what she just did. Even if he never spoke to her again, at least he'd be alive, and then she could have one night where she didn't wake up in a cold sweat as she hears his screams.

It's hours before sleep finally takes her, and it's a restless sleep.

~

Frankie sits on the edge of Karen's bed, brushing a knot out of her hair. "So where's Lisa?"

Karen glances at her with a smile. "Where do you think?"

"Again?" Frankie giggles. "Jesus! She might as well just marry Simon."

"So how come you're here and not with Negan?" Karen asks.

"Katie showed up, she looked upset. I'm worried about her," Frankie frowns.

"She'll be fine, just needs time. I was like that when i lost my husband, it's not easy, especially with things the way they are now. Nobody has time to grieve anymore," Karen points out.

"That's not what i'm worried about, well.. i am, but it's not my biggest worry."

Karen turns to her, raising an eyebrow. "What else is there to worry about?"

"Come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed how Negan's been ever since he found her and John. He's infatuated with her," Frankie says.

"And you're worried because?"

"Because Negan isn't holding his shit together anymore, he's losing it. I..," Frankie drops her head.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter," Frankie says, shaking her head.

"Course it matters, so what is it?"

"I.. i think Negan might have had something to do with what happened at the school," Frankie says, bluntly.

Karen stares at her, a confused look on her face. "You can't be serious?"

"I wouldn't be saying it if i wasn't," Frankie says.

"So what, you think he torched the school, why would he do that? It doesn't make sense," Karen shakes her head. "Burning down the roof over heads, and for what?"

"Katie," Frankie says.

Karen laughs. "You're paranoid."

"Maybe? Or maybe he wanted John out of the picture that bad, that he was willing to do anything."

"This is crazy, Frankie. Look, i know what you're saying about Katie, i've seen how he is. But burning down the school just so he can get rid of his own brother?" Karen shakes her head. "That's just crazy."

"Well i hope you're right, maybe you are. But, i just can't shake the feeling that he had a hand in it."

Karen places a hand on Frankie's arm. "I love you, girl. But you need to keep those feelings to yourself. Otherwise Negan's gonna divorce you, and then where will you be? You really wanna clean up piss with the rest of the workers? Because that's the kinda job he'll give you."

"No, i don't. But if he gets worse, cleaning up piss will be the least of my worries."

~

Katie washes in the communal bathroom, dark circles under her eyes. She'd awoke long before sunrise, her skin covered in a sheen of sweat as she tried to catch her breath, struggling to tell dream from reality.

Once the dream had slowly faded, she'd thought of Negan. Her stomach had begun to roll, and then she'd ran out into the corridor and vomited in the nearest toilet.

As she looks in the mirror, brushing at her damp her, she curses herself mentally. What must he think of her?

_He kissed you back though, more than that, he was all over you,_ she thinks.

Either way, she knows she'll have to go through the embarrassment of speaking to him, if only to apologise.

~

Negan whistles as he strolls down the corridor, a smile on his face as he swings Lucille. He'd had a full nights sleep for the first time since the school, and he hadn't felt this good in years, in fact, he hadn't felt this good since Lucille.

"Hey, Negan," Simon nods as he heads towards him.

"Simon," he smiles.

"Well you look in a good mood."

"I am, i feel fucking awesome. Have you seen Katie? I knocked on earlier, but she wasn't in her room," Negan says.

"Yeah, i think i saw her heading outside. Oh, while i'm here, you still wanna go out on that run with us?"

Negan shakes his head. "I'll give that a fucking miss for now, got shit i need to do here."

"Alright, well i'll see you whenever i get back," Simon nods.

"Seeya," Negan smiles, heading outside.

~

He sees her sitting on the steps, a far off look on her face. "Hey."

Katie looks up, dropping her head quickly as her cheeks go red. "Hey," she barely whispers.

Negan stands in front of her with a frown. "You alright?"

Katie looks up at him, rising to her feet. "I'm so sorry."

Negan swallows deeply, his throat suddenly dry. _Don't fuck it up, be fucking cool,_ he tells himself.

Katie runs a hand through her hair. "You must think i'm the shittiest person ever."

"Hey, i don't think that. I'd never fucking think that about you."

"What kind of person kisses her dead boyfriend's brother?" She frowns, her stomach rolling a little at her own words.

"Don't do that. You were upset, it's understandable."

"Is it? He was your brother," she shakes her head. "I don't know what i was thinking."

"It's not all on you, i didn't exactly say no," Negan points out. "And.. i don't regret it."

Katie stares at him. "You didn't?"

Negan shakes his head. "Fuck no. I.. i like you. I mean, i get that it's weird, but, i can't help how i feel."

"I.. i don't know how i feel about this, it's.. too soon," she says, rubbing at her temples.

He looks down at her, his heart pounding against his chest. This wasn't going the way he'd imagined it would, far from it. "Sorry," he frowns, dropping his head as his shoulders sag.

"It's not your fault," she places a hand against his shoulder. "And don't be sorry, i'm flattered. It's just, it's too weird. I'm not saying i don't like you, cos i do, but it's too soon."

He looks down at her with a weak smile. "I hear you. Shit, i shouldn't have said that i like you," Negan frowns.

"Don't say that," Katie smiles. "I just need to get my head around it, around everything."

Negan suppresses a smirk, his mind once again hopeful. "Things aren't gonna be weird between us are they? That's the last thing i fucking want."

"No, they're not," she smiles, pulling at his shoulder as she leans into him.

Negan wraps his arms around her waist, sniffing at her hair, a content smile on his face.

~

John balls his fists as he watches Negan wrap his arms around Katie. _Fucking fucker!_ He thinks, as he clenches his jaw. It takes all his strength not to go straight over there and smash Negan's skull in. But he knows he has to be smart about this. If he's to get what he wants, he has to bide his time and do this right.


	16. Chapter 16

"Fuck!" John yelled, as he jumped back from the flames racing under the door. He turned his head towards the jars of alcohol on the table. "Oh shit," he whispered, his throat suddenly dry. John ran towards the window, fumbling with the handle as he struggled to open it. "Fuck sake! Come the fuck on you fucker!" He said through gritted teeth. The window popped open, a wave of relief washing over him as he squeezed through the small opening. He dropped to the ground, ready to run round the side of the building when he's thrown into the school fence, heat hitting him like a punch in the back.

John lied on the broken school fence, blood dripping down his temple. His eyes flickered open then suddenly widened as a searing heat ripped through his arm. John looked down at his left arm, his eyes wide as he wafted it around wildly, batting it against the grass in an attempt to put out the flames engulfing him. Thinking quickly, he rolled over, suffocating the flames, his teeth gritted as he writhed on the ground.

John grabbed at his arm, quickly pulling his hand away as he lets out a deep growl at the white hot pain throbbing there. "Fuck!" He sat up, wiping at his temple and coming back with a bloody hand.

Ringing filled his ears, so much so, that he failed to hear the dead surrounding the school. A rotten hand clawed at his shoulder. John jumped forward, falling onto his burnt arm. "Fuck!" He screamed, his face red as he rolls onto his back. John kicked his boot up into the dead thing's chest, knocking it on it's ass.

Rising to his feet, he grabbed the knife from his belt, kneeling down and plunging it through the dead thing's skull. He quickly took out another stumbling towards him, his breath heavy as he wiped his knife over his pants.

They're everywhere, the dead coming from all directions like flies on shit.

As he ran towards the gates, now knowing that Negan had been lying to him and then some, he's blocked by the dead. John quickly headed the other way around the school, grunting as he shoulder barged through the dead. Aside from the pain emanating through his arm, he had only one thought. _Negan._

As he finally made his way to the front gates, his face dropped. The trucks were gone. He wanted more than anything to just drop to the ground, but with the dead slowly but surely surrounding him, he stumbled on.

~

"Holy crap!" Kurt swerved the car, avoiding a group of the dead. He stomped his foot down on the gas, speeding up to avoid the turning heads of a herd. "You see that?"

"Yeah," Amy frowned. "Looks like a school, or at least it was. I wonder what happened?"

"Who knows, not our problem though."

They drove on a few more miles, Amy's eyes widening as she saw something at the side of the road.

"Stop the car," she said.

"What? Are you crazy? You just saw that herd."

"I said stop the car," she said more firmly.

Kurt rolled his eyes, bringing the car to a stop. Amy stepped out, walking to the side of the road. She leant down, instinctively pulling her knife out. "I think he's alive."

"Can't risk it, what if he's bit?"

"Doesn't look bit to me, help me get him in the car," she said.

"No way," Kurt shook his head.

"Kurt, stop being an asshole, and help me get him in the car."

"Fine," he huffed, making his way over.

They continued on a few more miles, finding a house with boarded up windows, the smell of dust and decay filling their nostrils.

Amy and Kurt had taken the man upstairs, and he lay unconscious on a dirty mattress. She'd tended to the burns on his arm, using what little bandages they had.

They both sat a table in the kitchen, eating cocktail fruit from a can.

"You know that was a waste right? That guy's gonna need more bandages, and we don't have any," Kurt said.

"We'll find more."

"How? I'm not going out there, not for a stranger," Kurt frowned.

"I'll go out myself then."

Kurt opened his mouth and quickly closed it again.

"I'm gonna go check on him, then i'm gonna head out, see what i can find," she said, getting up from her seat.

~

Amy didn't get back till long after dark, and Kurt had spent that time feeling like the biggest asshole ever. He hadn't meant to come across as heartless, but this guy was a stranger, he could be a bad guy for all they knew.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the front door opening, walking over to her and offering an apologetic hug. She accepted it on the understanding that he'd go out on a run next if needed.

Amy made her way up the stairs, checking on her new patient. It felt good to be doing something, to be useful. She'd been a nurse before, so taking care of people was second nature to her. What she'd always wanted was to train as a doctor, but she'd never had the chance, the world ending like it did.

She placed a hand against his forehead, the only light a flickering candle on the bedside table. _He's cute,_ she thought. As she began to wonder what colour his eyes might be, he opened them, startling her a little. Amy took a step back, lifting her hand from his head.

He opened his mouth, coughing lightly. Amy grabbed a bottle of water, bringing it to his lips. "Drink slowly. You must've been out in the heat a while when we found you."

"We?" He croaked, taking another sip of water as she lifted it to his mouth.

"Me and my friend, his name's Kurt. I'm Amy. We found you a few miles from a school. Did you come from there?" He nodded. "I figured you might have, what with your arm being the way it is. What's your name?"

"John, and thanks, you didn't have to take care of me like this, i'm just a stranger to you."

"Kurt said that," she smiled.

"Well Kurt's right."

"You needed help, that's enough for me."

"Is it just the two of you?" John asked.

Amy nodded, leaning over to grab something from her bag. She held out her hand to him, two small white pills resting against her palm. "Painkillers, for your arm."

"Thanks," he smiled, taking them from her gratefully and practically tossing them down his throat. John sat himself up, wincing as he did. Amy leaned over, adjusting his pillows. "Thank you. I really appreciate this."

"You're welcome," she said, pulling out a chair and sitting beside him.

"Did.. did you see anyone else?" He asked.

"Where you with other people?" She frowned.

"Yeah, a lot of other people. We were all staying at the school."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I didn't see anyone else. What happened there?"

"A madman burned the place down, i was lucky i got out."

She stared at him wide eyed. "You're kidding? Why would someone do that?"

"There's a lot of really bad fucking people out there, but him? He's fucking crazy. I'm worried for my people, if he got out, then he's still leading them."

"Is that your way of saying you want out of here soon as possible?" She smiled.

"Pretty fucking much," he dropped his head, running a hand over his beard. "Sorry, i must sound really fucking ungrateful."

"No, you sound like a leader who's worried about his people, that's a good thing. But, i'd advise that you get some rest. That burn on your arm will heal nicely, but only if we take proper care of it. You don't look after it properly, it'll get infected."

John nodded. "Are you a doctor?"

"Nurse, or i was, i wanted to be a doctor, but it never happened."

"Well you sure as shit seem like a doctor to me," he smiled. "So how long will this take to heal?"

Amy chewed on her lip. "Three weeks? But that's just a guess. I'd suggest we stay here for a week at least, after that you should be able to take care of it on the road, it's not advisable, but i can see you're worried about your people."

"Well, they're not actually _my_ people."

"Seem like your people to me," she said.

~

They'd waited two weeks, but not before John had taken the car out a week after him being with them. He'd driven almost fifty miles before realising Amy was right, he wasn't going to find them waiting on the side of the road for him. If he was going to find them, it was better that he heal as much as he could first.

So they had stayed at the house, John getting to know Kurt, and liking him in spite of his apparent reluctance to take John in in the first place.

They'd found more bandages, and as promised, his arm was healing nicely. He guessed it would be another two weeks before it healed properly, but he'd stopped with the painkillers, so that was something.

On the second week, a herd of the dead had ripped through the small town they were residing in. Though Kurt had suggested they hide it out, John had pointed out that if so much as one of the dead found their whereabouts, they wouldn't stand a chance of getting out, so they'd taken the car and left.

Kurt had died just over two hours later.

They'd been driving down the road, barely two hours after leaving the house, when Amy had swerved the car to avoid a handful of dead. She'd crashed into a tree at the side of the road, the three of them getting out unharmed. But as they'd ran off into the woods, Kurt had felt a hand grab at his shoulder, and one of the dead had taken a chunk out of it.

"Kurt!" Amy screamed, running over to him.

John ran over, his face dropping at the bite on Kurt's shoulder. He ran over to the dead thing, taking it out with his knife, while Amy applied pressure to Kurt's shoulder with her shirt.

"Shit! This is really not the way i wanted to go," Kurt shook his head, a weak smile on his face.

John kneeled down beside them. "I'm sorry. Maybe if we hadn't left-"

"Don't, you were right. I guess it's just my time," Kurt said, swallowing thickly. "Fuck it hurts," he winced. "Do me a favour."

John leaned into him. "Of course, anything," he said, holding Kurt's hand.

"Take my gun from my backpack, i don't wanna wait."

"No," Amy sobbed.

Kurt laughed weakly, taking her hand in his. "Can you stop bossing me around, just for once?"

"Sorry, i can't watch," Amy said, getting up and turning away.

John took the gun from Kurt's backpack. "You sure?" Kurt nodded, squeezing John's hand. John placed the gun against Kurt's temple. "I'm sorry," he said, before he pulled the trigger, a flock of birds flying off as the sound echoed through the woods. John stood up, placing the gun in the backpack. "I'll go find us something to bury him with."

After burying him, they'd found a barn out in the woods, spending the night there before packing up in the morning.

Amy had died four hours later, not long after they'd shared a can of peaches.

She'd gotten up to relieve herself, and after zipping her jeans back up, she'd stepped backwards into what look like a few bushes, unaware that there was a 100ft drop behind them.

John had shot up from where he was and ran over, almost meeting the same fate himself. He'd turned around and vomited, the rank smell of peaches putting him off them for life.

~

John set up camp in a car at the side of the road. He'd struggled to sleep, the image of Amy lying with her skull smashed against the rocks haunting him. _They'd still be here if it weren't for you. Funny how everyone dies when you're around,_ he thought. But then he'd thought of Katie. He'd managed to keep her safe. He had to find her, if that was the last thing he did, he had to know that she was okay. She wasn't safe with Negan. John knew it was only a matter of time before Negan reverted back to his old ways, he was showing signs of it back at the school.

Sleep hadn't taken him that night, so he'd left the car just before sun up. He'd found a derelict gas station, taking the time to check his arm. It was healing nicely, just as Amy had promised, most likely he'd be left with a faint pink mark over time. He bandaged it back up and grabbed what he could find, which wasn't much.

~

He'd spent a month alone, not coming across a single person on his travels. The only thing there had been in abundance was the dead.

John made his way through a field, his beard long and his hair a matted mess on top of his head. He stood, arms on hips, looking down at a town below. As he was about to turn around he heard a gunshot. "The fuck?" John turned once again to the town below, a factory standing tall in the distance.

~

John figured the best place to start would be the factory, since that's the first place he'd check out if he were looking for somewhere safe.

His eyes widened as he watched from a distance. "Katie," he smiled. She was safe, and that was all he'd thought about for the last month or so. His expression changed in a heartbeat as he watched his brother wrap his arms around her. _Fucking fucker!_

** Author's note **

**The next chapter should be the final one, thanks for reading and the awesome comments. X**


	17. The Final Chapter

Negan sits on his sofa, going through an inventory of what they have at the Sanctuary. He tosses the book down on his coffee table, leaning back with his eyes closed as he fumbles in his pants pocket. He pulls out a pair of black panties, pushing them against his nose as he breathes in deeply. He'd taken them from Katie's room whilst she'd been in the main hall, one of many times he'd been in there rifling through her stuff. Negan currently had a small box in his bottom drawer filled with many of Katie's belongings, ranging from a pair of her socks, to a piece of gum that had long since hardened.

A knock at the door startles him, Negan jumping up off the sofa like a dog caught eating it's master's food. He shoves Katie's panties into his back pocket, trying to catch his breath. "Yeah," he says.

"Hey," Simon nods as he steps through the door.

"You're back from the run, how did it go?" Negan smiles.

"Good, we found a lot of supplies. Should set us up for a couple months. Also, we found this place while we were out, thought it might make a good outpost, you know, if we wanted to expand."

"Really? What place is that?"

"It's a satellite building, looks pretty secure," Simon says as he holds out a map. "It's here."

Negan looks at the map, chewing on his lip. "That's a damn good idea, makes sense to branch out. You got men there?"

"I left a group of three, said i'd speak to you first, see what you wanted to do."

"Alright, well it's not too fucking far, i'll head out there myself," Negan says. "You seen Katie?"

"She went out with Gareth on a water run."

Negan clenches his jaw. "When?"

"Couple hours ago, they shouldn't be too long."

"Alright, well i'll go check this place out," Negan says.

"You want me to come with you?" Simon asks.

Negan shakes his head. "No, won't take me long, should be back before dark."

~

Negan drives down the road, the map laid out on the passenger seat.

He tries to focus on the task at hand, but all he can think about is Katie. _I'm gonna have to take Gareth out on a little run, little fucker keeps getting in the way,_ he thinks. It disturbs him how easy it would be for him to come back without Gareth, how easy it would be to just say he didn't make it.

Negan looks at the road with a frown. "What the fuck?" He brings the car to a stop, staring at a bunch of purple balloons weighted down in the middle of the road. Negan looks from left to right before grabbing Lucille from the back seat and stepping out of the car. He looks all around as he steps closer to the balloons, his hand hovering over the gun on his hip.

He kneels down, reading a note attached to the weighted base of the balloons. _'Happy Birthday'_.

_What the fuck?_ Negan frowns. Is it his birthday? He's not quite sure, having lost track of dates, but it could be.

"What the fuck is this?" He shouts, looking around him. He turns to his left, a whistling coming out of the woods. Negan takes the gun from his hip. "Come out here, right fucking now!"

The whistling ceases. Negan hears a grunt, and then a thud, the sound of someone taking out the dead. Placing the gun back in it's holster, Negan steps into the woods, holding Lucille tightly. After a few feet, he sees the dead thing lying on the ground. His head shoots up as he hears another whistle. "Don't fuck with me! I swear to Christ, whoever the fuck you are, i'm gonna smash your fucking dome in, you hear me?"

Negan follows the whistling knowing full well it could be a trap, but feeling confident enough not to give a shit. The whistling ceases once again as he walks out into a clearing, a dirty red barn standing tall in the distance. He squints his eyes as he watches the barn door swing shut, a smirk on his face. "I got you now you little fucker," Negan chuckles.

He walks straight into the barn, ready to swing Lucille if need be. "Come the fuck out and show yourself you pussy!"

A figure steps out of the shadows, Negan tightening his grip. But suddenly his fingers fail him, Lucille dropping against the floor as his stomach rolls. The ground feels as if it's been taken from beneath him, his heart not just pounding, but knocking against his chest as if wanting out. "You.. you..," he shakes his head. "You're not real, you're-"

"Dead?" John says, raising an eyebrow.

"N..no, there's no fucking way you made it outta there," Negan shakes his head.

"And yet here i fucking am," John spreads his arms either side of himself dramatically before dropping them back down. "I tried to fucking help you, and what do you do? You try and fucking kill me, your own fucking brother," he says through gritted teeth. Negan stares at him, his throat dry and his eyes wide. John takes a step towards him. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I show up at the school, and you're carrying a fucking baseball bat, named after _my_ fucking wife!"

"She was mine!" Negan yells, suddenly finding his voice.

"Yeah, and look what you fucking did to her," John tilts his head. "She was a damn mess! You controlled her, she couldn't fucking say hi to another guy without your fucking say so. If i hadn't helped her you would've fucking killed her with your obsessive shit!"

"You didn't fucking help her, you stole her, she was mine! I knew i should've kept you away from her, you always wanted Lucille, even back in high school," Negan spits.

"Maybe i did, but i wouldn't have fallen for her if you'd treated her fucking right."

"What, and you did?" Negan laughs. "Last i heard you were sleeping around, right up until she got cancer."

"Fuck you! I may have been a fucking asshole, but i never fucking hurt her like you did. Never had her looking over her damn shoulder."

Negan kneels down, picking up Lucille. "I would never have hurt her."

"You fucking did hurt her!"

Negan shakes his head. "That was an accident, i didn't mean to."

"Yeah, an accident that cost her sixteen stitches," John frowns. "I'm not gonna let you do the same to Katie."

"You don't love her like i do," Negan says, his breath heavy.

"No, but then i don't think anyone loves someone the way you do. The way you love people, it's fucking ugly. I care about her, i care about your people, and that's better than what you have to fucking offer."

"I won't let you take her from me," Negan says as he lifts Lucille.

"I'm gonna give you one last chance, as your brother. Walk out that fucking door, and keep fucking walking. Away from me, away from Katie, away from your people," John says.

"Fuck you," Negan frowns. He swings Lucille. She connects with a beam, John ducking at the last second. As Negan struggles to pull her from the wood, John tackles him to the ground. Negan's eyes water as John's fist connects with his nose, Negan's hands coming up as he wraps them around John's throat. John throws punch after punch, but Negan brings his knee up into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

Negan rolls him over, sitting astride John as he returns the favour, throwing punches at his face. John brings up his Knee, pushing his boot against Negan's ribs and kicking him away. Negan falls backwards, but he draws his gun as John runs for him. John stops in his tracks.

"Don't fucking move!" Negan spits as he gets up off the floor.

John stands in front of him, his arms by his side. "So this is it then? You're gonna fucking kill me, again?"

"You should've fucking died the first time," Negan frowns. "But that's you all fucking over, isn't it? Good luck always fucking rained on you, and i was just left with a bucket of piss."

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"You were always better at everything. Even when i worked hard at it, you'd just show up like it was nothing and come out looking like the sun shines out your fucking ass. This is my time to fucking shine!" Negan yells, shaking the gun at him.

"That's bullshit. I was better at shit because i didn't fucking destroy everything i touched."

"What about Mom? You turned her against me. You were always her fucking favourite, her little fucking golden boy," Negan spits.

John shakes his head. "You're wrong, she loved us both. Mom spent nights crying over you."

"No, she was ashamed of me, because i wasn't like you."

"She was worried about you. Don't you fucking tell me what she felt, i was there!" John yells.

"Yeah, and you've never forgiven me for that, have you? For not being there when she was sick."

"I did forgive you. It was _you_ that couldn't let it go. Look at you, Negan. What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm putting an end to this, once and for all. I'm gonna take care of Katie, much better than you ever could."

"By doing what? Suffocating her? Has she seen your little obsessions yet?" John sneers.

"I won't let you ruin this for me, not again. She could love me, i know she could. Just like Lucille would've if you hadn't fucked things up," Negan says, his finger resting against the trigger.

"Lucille despised you, just like Katie will if you go back there," John says.

Negan's arm begins to shake as his finger brushes the trigger. "No, she won't. But i guess you'll never get to know one way or the other. Goodnight, brother."

The gunshot echoes through the barn, a deer in the distance doing a 180 at the sound of it.

~

Simon sits on the Sanctuary steps, taking his gun apart and cleaning it.

"Negan not back yet?" Gareth asks, looking down at Simon.

Simon shakes his head. "No, but then i'm not expecting him back for a while. It's not far, but he'll probably wanna check the place out, won't be back till after dark, that's my guess."

"You think he'll be alright with the new guy?"

"Don't see why he wouldn't be. We need this guy from the sounds of it, said he knows how to get the water running, and that my friend, is exactly the kinda person we need," Simon smiles.

"Tell me about it, i'd kill for a shower right now. Lugging that water all the way here is hard work," Gareth says.

"Well if he gets the water up and running that's one less thing we'll have to worry about " Simon nods.

They both look up at the sound of an engine approaching.

"Isn't that Negan's car?" Gareth frowns.

Simon rises to his feet. "It is, the hell is he doing back so soon?" Simon watches as the car rolls through the gates. He heads over, watching him step out. "Why are you.., holy shit, what happened to your face?"

"Came across some fucking asshole on the road."

"Jesus! You need me to send some men out?" Simon frowns.

He shakes his head. "No, it was just one asshole, i took care of him."

"So i guess you're gonna leave checking the outpost for another day?" Simon asks.

"Yeah, i wanna get myself fucking cleaned up."

"Alright, you want me to have Lucille cleaned for you?"

"Yeah, she's in the back."

~

He walks through the corridors, his head pounding slightly with every footstep.

"Negan."

He turns. "Julia, what can i do for you?"

"I.. are you alright?" She frowns.

"I'm fucking fine, or i will be once i've got cleaned up. Did you want something?"

She shakes her head. "It's alright, i can come back later."

"Fuck no, i can talk and fucking walk, come on."

Julia stops outside Negan's headquarters. "So what do you think?"

"I think it sounds like a damn good idea. The kids here need to learn shit, and if Joanne used to be a teacher, then it's fucking perfect. We'll talk more about it tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks Negan."

He heads through the double doors, straight on through to his bedroom. He stands at the door, watching Katie take a book from the shelf.

Katie turns at the sound of his footsteps. "Hey, i hope you don't mind, but.. what happened to your face?" She asks, taking a step towards him.

"Met an unfriendly whilst i was out, i'm fucking fine though," he smiles, making his way over to her. He wraps an arm around her waist, dipping his head to kiss her.

Katie places her hands against his chest. "Woah, what are you doing? I thought we talked about this?"

He stares at her. "I'm sorry, i just-"

"It's too soon, Negan, i told you that. And i want you to stop leaving things in my room. I know you mean well, but it makes me uncomfortable. It's my own personal space," she tilts her head. "I hope i'm not coming across as rude? I wouldn't want you to think i don't appreciate what you do for us."

He takes a step back. "No, of course not."

"Good. How about i get us something to eat later? That okay?"

"It sounds fucking perfect," he smiles.

"Alright, well i'll seeya later," she smiles as she walks away.

"Seeya," he nods.

He makes his way to the bathroom, filling the sink with bottled water as he cleans up his face.

"Negan."

"Yeah?"

Frankie opens the bathroom door. "Karen's sick, nothing serious, just a bug. Anyway, i thought it best if i look after her, i know it'll cut into our time, but she needs me, is that alright?"

He nods. "Sure, take all the time you want. Does she need anything else?"

Frankie shakes her head. "No, she's got plenty of water. Oh, did Simon tell you about the new guy?"

He shakes his head. "No, what new guy?"

"Chris i think his name is. He says he can get the water running."

"Well that's fucking awesome," he smiles.

"It is. Well i'll get going," Frankie says. She stops in her tracks. "What's that? Did that guy hurt your arm?" She asks.

He looks down at the bandage on his arm. "No, it's for Lucille. My arm's started hurting lately when i use her, adds extra support," he smiles.

Frankie stares at him. "You seem.. different."

He swallows deeply. "Different?"

"Yeah. Good different. I can't quite put my finger on it," she frowns.

"Well i do feel good," he smiles. "Actually, sweetheart, could you do me a favour before you get back to Karen?"

"Sure," Frankie nods.

"Tell Simon i wanna see him."

"Okay, i'll seeya later," she smiles.

"Seeya," he says.

John looks in the mirror, running a hand over his face, the smoothness almost foreign to him. He'd been unsure whether he could actually pull this off. Christ! He hadn't even known where his fucking room was, so he'd been grateful when Julia had pretty much walked him there.

He figures he might tell Katie at some point. He'd had no intention of telling her at all, but the fact that she hadn't kissed him, thinking he was Negan, had warmed his heart a little.

_I'm gonna change things here. This place is gonna be so much better, and i'm gonna be a much better Negan than he ever was,_ he thinks.

John stares in the mirror. "I.. am.. Negan," he smirks.


End file.
